- Willy Wonka: May I present, Willy Wonka's wild and wonderful wishy-washy Wonka walker! Please, don't make me say that again.
- Noodle: What are you doing?
- Willy Wonka: I'm making chocolate, of course. How do you like it? Dark? White? Nutty? Absolutely insane.
- [from trailer]
- Willy's Mother: Every good thing in this world, started with a dream. So you hold on to yours.
- [from trailer]
- Willy Wonka: So, you're the funny little man who's been following me.
- Oompa-Loompa: I will have you know that I'm a perfectly respectable size for an Oompa-Loompa.
- Willy Wonka: An Oompa-what-now?
- Oompa-Loompa: Allow me to refresh your memory.
- [plays the flute]
- Willy Wonka: Oh, I don't think I want to hear that.
- Oompa-Loompa: Too late.
- [starting to dance]
- Oompa-Loompa: I've started dancing now. Once we've started, we can't stop.
- [from trailer]
- Willy Wonka: I've spent the past seven years travelling the world, perfecting my craft. You see I'm something of a magician, inventor, and chocolate maker. So quiet up, and listen down. Nope. Scratch that, reverse it.
- Noodle: What are we gonna do, Willy?
- Willy Wonka: [the light bulb is on and he sees it] Huh.
- Noodle: Huh?
- Willy Wonka: [gets the idea] Huh.
- Noodle: A double huh.
- Willy Wonka: Do you have a pencil and paper?
- Noodle: Uh-huh.
- Willy Wonka: I got an idea.
- Oompa-Loompa: Good night, sir. I'm going flat.
- [puts on the sleep eye mask]
- Willy Wonka: Huh.
- Oompa-Loompa: [removes the sleep eye mask] What is it?
- Willy Wonka: Nothing.
- Oompa-Loompa: Well, it's obviously something because you said huh.
- Willy Wonka: Forget it.
- Oompa-Loompa: Very well.
- [puts on the sleep eye mask again]
- Willy Wonka: Huh.
- Oompa-Loompa: [removes the sleep eye mask again] Ugh, you did it again. Tell me what it is, or I shall poke you quite viciously with a cocktail stick.
- Willy Wonka: She'll be thankful for an ankle. She'll be pleased to see your knees. But if you want to make her sigh, show some thigh!
- Willy Wonka: The little orange man...
- Noodle: What?
- Willy Wonka: The little orange man, I didn't tell you about him?
- Noodle: No. You didn't.
- Willy Wonka: He's my nemesis. About yea high. Comes in the dead of night and he steals all my chocolate. Been happening every few weeks for the past three, four years now.
- Noodle: Really.
- Willy Wonka: Sometimes I spy him in that strange realm betwixt sleep and wake, green hair glinting in the moonlight.
- Noodle: Green hair?
- Willy Wonka: One day I shall catch him, Noodle.
- Noodle: Willy.
- Willy Wonka: And when I do...
- Noodle: Willy! You don't seriously expect me to believe this, do you?
- Willy Wonka: Of course I do! What other explanation is there?
- Noodle: I don't know, that you go to sleep, dream about a little green man...
- Willy Wonka: Orange man, green hair.
- Noodle: ...and while you're dreaming, stuff your face with chocolate!
- Willy Wonka: Stuff my--?
- [pauses thoughtfully]
- Willy Wonka: That makes a lot more sense.
- Willy's Mother: The secret is, it's not the chocolate that matters. It's the people you share it with.
- Slugworth: He's good.
- Prodnose: Too good.
- Fickelgruber: And anyone can afford them. Even the...
- Chief of Police: The poor?
- [Fickelgruber fakes retch]
- Prodnose: He doesn't like it when people say poor.
- [Fickelgruber faking retches again]
- Abacus Crunch: Many people have come here to sell chocolate, they've all been crushed by the Chocolate Cartel. You can't get a shop without selling chocolate, and you can't sell chocolate without a shop.
- [Sceptical Old Man notices that his hair transformed into a blue]
- Sceptical Old Man: Uh, Mr. Wonka?
- Willy Wonka: Yes?
- Sceptical Old Man: [his hair is growing] What's going on here?
- Willy Wonka: [notices that his hair and beard growing] Oh, my goodness. That's impossible. Unless...
- [takes the blue thing and eats it]
- Willy Wonka: Yeti sweat!
- Sceptical Old Man: Yeti sweat?
- Willy Wonka: The most powerful hair potion in the world, I didn't put in there.
- [to the customers, running]
- Willy Wonka: Ladies and gentleman, your attention please! There appears to be a manufacturing error, nobody eat the flowers!
- [Abacus Crunch and Noodle heard that and looks at each other]
- Green-Bearded Customer: Uh, why not?
- Orange-Haired Customer: What's wrong with them?
- The Countess: What's the matter with this toadstool? My daughter took one bite and just look at her!
- Green-Skinned Customer: There's nothing wrong with the chocolate milk, is it?
- Willy Wonka: I'm terribly sorry, everyone and I know how to explain this, but... it appears that the chocolates has been poisoned!
- Orange-Haired Customer: Poisoned?
- Green-Skinned Customer: Poisoned?
- The Countess: You poisoned my child!
- Willy Wonka: I did-- I didn't poison them!
- Sceptical Old Man: I want my money back!
- Orange-Haired Customer: I want compensation!
- Green-Skinned Customer: I want revenge!
- [throws the things at Willy Wonka and everyone begins obliterating the things]
- Willy Wonka: No, please!
- [Everyone continues to destroy the candies]
- The Countess: This is what you get for mustaching my daughter.
- [snaps the rope and the chandelier falls down, crashes it and the fire started]
- Noodle: The greedy beat the needy, Willy. It's just the way of the world.
- Willy Wonka: You're right, Noodle. I guess that's why there's one other thing to do.
- Noodle: What's that?
- Willy Wonka: Change the world.
- Willy Wonka: After seven years of line upon the ocean. It is time to bid the seven seas farewell. And the city I've pinned seven years of hopes on. Lies just over the horizon, I can hear the harbour bell. Land ahoy!. Got a tattered overcoat and battered suitcase. Got a pair of leaky boots upon my feet. Gotta drag myself up by my one good bootlace. Gotta work my rotten socks off if I want to make ends meet. I've poured everything I've got into my chocolate. Now, it's time to show the world my recipes. I've got twelve silver sovereigns in my pocket. And a hatful of dreams
- Willy Wonka: In this city, anyone can be successful. If they've talent and work hard, or so they say. But they didn't mention it would be so stressful. Just to make a dozen silver sovereigns last more than a day
- [Hears the voice of a crying baby. Turns and looks back to see the young mother, holding her baby in her lap]
- Young Mother: Could you spare a sovereign for a place to sleep, love?
- Willy Wonka: Of course! Here, take all you need.
- [Opens his hand to offer his remaining money]
- Young Mother: Thank you!
- [Gratefully takes some money and walks away]
- Willy Wonka: I've got one silver sovereign in my pocket.
- [Playfully throws his last sovereign up into the air, opening his pocket to catch it. The money misses his pocket, and falls into the drain. Willy sighs, but then smiles hopefully as he walks]
- Willy Wonka: And a hatful of dreams...
- Willy Wonka: Lost your hair, can't think where?
- Townfolk: [Pointing at his hair] Feeling fairly bare up there
- Willy Wonka: Don't despair I come prepared. Behold my hair repair éclair!
- [Offers the sweet to customers in the barber shop]
- Willy Wonka: It's made from ground vanilla. From the markets of Manila. Take heed eat more than three. And you'll end up like a gorilla!
- [Customers' hair starts quickly growing after they eat the sweets]
- The Consortium: Do you have a Sweet-Tooth?
- Mrs. Scrubbit: So, tell me all about Bavaria.
- Bleacher: Where?
- Mrs. Scrubbit: Where you're from.
- Bleacher: Oh, yes. It's very... Bavarian.
- Willy Wonka: [singing] If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it! Anything you want you do it! Wanna change the world? There's nothing to it!
- Willy Wonka: You've got about 20 minutes before it exits through your rear.
- Fickelgruber: What?
- Prodnose: He means we're going to fart them out of our botties!
- Fickelgruber: Yes, I know what he meant!
- Noodle: [giving the zoo security guard a chocolate] From Zoo Management. In recognition of your years of service.
- Basil, Zoo Security Guard: But I've only been here a year.
- Noodle: Which is why there's only one chocolate.
- Noodle: [asking about flamingos at the zoo] Why don't they fly away?
- Willy Wonka: I don't know. Perhaps they haven't thought of it.
- Noodle: You're kidding?
- Willy Wonka: No, I'm serious. That's the thing about flamingos. They need someone to show 'em the way.
- Slugworth: [explaining his bone-crushing handshake] It's a business handshake, Mr. Wonka. Lets people know I mean business.
- Chief of Police: They just rented a shop. So, legally, I can't touch them. But illegally, I'm happy to do whatever you guys want. You want 'em all to have a little accident?
- Prodnose: In which they die?
- Chief of Police: Not a problem. But it's gonna cost you a lot more chocolate.
- Willy Wonka: Ladies and gentlemen, greetings to you all, and welcome to Wonka's. Tremendous things are in store, both literally and metaphorically.