Alison Brie credited as playing...
Sloane
- Harper: Sloane wasn't lying! I'm gay, and I am in love with Abby. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner, but I know how much appearances and reputation matter to you. And me being gay didn't fit into the plan. But I let myself hurt Riley because I was so scared that you'd find out I wasn't who you wanted me to be, and I still regret it. I can't do that to Abby and throw away our life together. So I am done being scared, and I am done keeping secrets.
- [to Abby]
- Harper: I love you.
- Sloane: Eric and I are getting a divorce. We separated a few months ago. Truth is, I didn't tell you because without my family I'm worthless to you. We've spent our entire lives trying to earn your love, and I'm done too.
- Jane: I don't have any secrets, but I am an ally!
- Abby: I'm going to go.
- Harper: Wait, no. No! I did it!
- Abby: I'm sorry. It's just too late.
- Ted: I have sunk almost all of our savings into this campaign. Because I thought, if I won, you'd all be proud of me.
- Harper: We're already proud of you.
- Sloane: We don't care if you win.
- Jane: Yeah, and the money doesn't matter. When I sell my book, I'll take care of all of us.
- Ted: I love you, girls. And I'm sorry for making you think that anything could ever get in the way of that. I want to do better, and it will take time, but all I want for you is to find the same joy and happiness that you have given me, no matter where it comes from.
- Tipper: What is going on!
- Sloane: Yeah, what is going on? Harper, do you want to tell them, or should I?
- Harper: Don't, Sloane!
- Sloane: Why? It's not good timing?
- Tipper: Girls, stop that this instant!
- Jane: Come one, guys. Just hug it out.
- Harper, Sloane: Shut up, Jane!
- Harper: Don't do this, Sloane!
- Sloane: All this because you're scared to not be the favorite. Pathetic!
- Ted: Sloane, you're making a scene!
- Sloane: I am? You think she's so innocent? All of this is happening because Harper is... Harper is a lesbian! Abby's her girlfriend.
- Harper: She is lying! I am not a lesbian!
- [party goes silent as Abby leaves]
- Abby: So, Sloane and Eric, you guys make gift baskets, right?
- Sloane: No. We create curated gift experiences inside of handmade reclaimed wood vessels.
- Eric: Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous. She has impeccable taste.
- Sloane: Oh, no, honey, you have the eye.
- Abby: That sounds great.
- Sloane: Yeah, Gwynnie seems to think so. Paltrow. Goop picked us up, and sales have been through the roof ever since.