- [narration during opening credits sequence]
- Dwight: Okay, so about a thousand years ago there was this princess, Gretta, and she was in big trouble because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of friends. So her court magician, Baldric, cast the Champion spell. It put everyone in the woods asleep until a champion would come break the spell with a kiss and deal with all of Gretta's big scary enemies. But that guy never showed up. Instead, they got me.