Things Like This

I'd like to first start off by stating that I am an obese gay man, married to a wonderful man, who I'd define as attractive by societal standards. I am happy and confident, both in myself and in my marriage. So after seeing so many hateful comments online about how "things like this would never happen in real life" (ironic, since this line is in the film and also part of the title), but were referring to that a "hot" guy would never be attracted to a fat guy, I felt compelled to go support this film. So my husband and I, and a group of friends bought tickets for the film.

It's important to first inform you that the lead role of the heavy set gay man, is performed by Max Talisman, who also wrote and directed the film. I preface this because for those of you who remember the film The Room, which was written by, directed by and starred Tommy Wiseau, I was constantly reminded of this during the viewing. Yes, the script was baffling, the jokes were cringe, and many of the performances, mostly by Talisman, were laughable. And Talisman's lead character was not only painful to watch on screen due to his shrill voice and high school theatre level acting skills, but he was also confusing to watch because he was written as a very unlikeable person, who is downright nasty to both his friends and strangers. And that's where I'd like to turn your attention to what comes across as unwarranted narcissism from Talisman the director, to which bleeds into the plot and the protagonist. Talisman's main character is unlikeable, rude, and awkward. He does nothing to deserve anyone's affection, and yet at one point in the movie, his love interests calls him charming. I couldn't see it. But the red carpet seems to roll out for Talisman's character throughout this cringe fest of cliche romance movie tropes that we've all seen a million times, and ultimately leads to, I'm not kidding you, a music number... Performed by... Wait for it... MAX TALISMAN. And his performance was equivalent to your drunk friend on karaoke night. The jokes, the cliches, the awkward exchanges, they all resulted in what could only feel like an undeserved narcissistic brag by Talisman, who wanted to show everyone that he could get love, the cute guy, and a musical number. This once again reflects back on Tommy Wiseau, who's narcissism pushed him to create a film, because he believed he could have it all, regardless of whether he earned any of these achievements.

I wanted to support an LGBT movie that was body positive, but this was not it. The fact that Talisman's character kept his shirt on during a love scene, while his "hot" love interest was shirtless only supports my argument that Talisman's supposed confidence in the film is a false narrative. Strangely enough, they also make subtle references to Talismans character having an eating disorder, but then never address it again. There were many unexplained odd moments in this film like this, again reminding me of The Room (if you remember the scenes with the strange flower shop owner, or the mother addressing her cancer and then never referencing it again, this film had similar moments).

I do want to give credit where it's due. Joey Pollari stands out in this film as acting well beyond the shallow script he had to work with. His performance may have just made watching this film survivable.

I'd like to end this review by hoping that this film actually gets more attention, because I believe it has the potential for being a cult classic due to how bad it is. We all laughed throughout the entire film, it even brought me to tears. And in the words of one of the 'best friend' characters: "This is not a dollar store romance novel".... Oh honey, it's on the discount rack.

I wanted to love this movie - I can't say I loved it, but I did like it. It would've made a great Netflix movie Such a good opportunity missed. This could have been great, but it felt unbelievable the characters were great but like stated before it was a bit less realistic and believable. I felt the two leads were very believable - for Joey Zack that comes from his A+ acting, for the other Zack I feel it was probably because his character was based on himself more or less and he was a little annoying 😩. In scenes together it was clear that there were two very different levels of acting going on. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed the movie.

Max Talisman playing Zack Anthony the struggling writer is all this is wrong about this movie. The Feel of the movie is well crafted for a small romantic comedy, Zack Mandel played by Joey Pollari really carries the movie all by himself. And the other roles in the movie are generally decent acting too. Joey pollari in his character feels like he is genuine, the emotional, frustrated, sad, and the way he carries himself in the movie feels like the right cast, he feels real. As opposed to Max Talisman who lacks to provide any kind of genuine emotion. Let me say right away that it's not because he is overweight, he just has no charisma, the way he delivers his lines are not believable, he kinda feels like a stand up comedian trying to hit his line one after another (which are not funny or genuine). There's absolutely NO CHEMISTRY between him and Joey Pollari which in the movie Joey is charismatic and his lines feels like he is living in this movie for real. This was bad casting, it sure would have been easy to find any other actor to play Zack Anthony. Whenever Max Talisman tries to act and be emotional it just all feels flat. It's a one sided well acted character by Joey Pollari, but I'm having a difficult time to get through the movie because of the hollowness of Max Talisman's Actiing. Such a shame with a different actor where Joey could have chemistry with the character of Zack Anthony, this could have been a really sweet rom-com. I gave it 2 stars for Joey's well acting and good story line. But the Director should have seen the problem with Max Talisman not belonging into this movie and have a recast for the character of Zack Anthony.

The guy who wrote it and directed it also cast himself. Its like a gay remake of "The Room". The acting from the cast and more seasoned avtors is OK. The pacing and writing its completely contrived and moves too fast making no sense. The worst part about the movie is the lead...somebody should have told the writer/director to take a step back and hire a real actor for the main role. Hard not to feel a more charming plus size actor could have made this movie work like Tyler Labine or Salvatore Esposito but we're stuck with this absolutely obnoxious person who shouted his way through the movie. Absolutely awful.

There's a rule in screenwriting that if you're going to have a character who's a bit extra/annoying/difficult, they need to do something unquestionably good early into the script, like saving a cat. That never happens for either of the two romantic leads. One is annoying, the other is slightly less annoying... and while I want more plus-size representation in queer cinema, certainly we can do better than this. Apart from making each other laugh, I never understood why either of them found the other attractive. I only realized that one of the actors who plays the romantic lead also wrote and starred in it when we got to the end. So... was this supposed to be some sort of fantasy about getting the hottie? But the thing is, the supposed "hottie" wasn't that attractive because he's such a jerk to the people around him. We can do better than this...