- Title Card: The Boy. Only one minute to catch his train. He lives so far in the suburbs the katydids carry lighting-bugs for lanterns.
- Title Card: The Neighbor. He and the Boy are such close friends they cut each other's hair.
- Title Card: The Bride. Married a whole year and still believes everything the Boy tells her.
- Title Card: The Neighbor's wife. Has never been mistaken for Cleopatra.
- Neighbor's Wife: You've trained that poodle to steal.
- The Bride: I did not - He's a good Presbyterian dog.
- Parrot: Liar