- Hubbell: The main events of the day are going to take place now. We're going to have the races! We're going to have an obstacle race, a sack race, a three-legged race, a fat man's race, and, eh, various other kinds of races - including the human race.
- Eckbaum: You could call it a loan couldn't you?
- Jack: Listen, Eckbaum, you can call it a lot worst than that and you'd still be right. Listen, I know what's in back of that old dame's mind and I won't have it!
- Eckbaum: But, Jack, she wants to help you.
- Jack: That's my business.
- Eckbaum: All right, then, so it's my business. After all, I'm a landlord, not a Salvation Army Captain.
- Eckbaum: Miss Carroll, what else can I do? You know, I got taxes, heavy taxes. You know, this ain't the Eckbaum Foundation for Indignant Females.
- Jack: Now, listen, Eckbaum, I know these dames. They come to Greenwich Village, from small towns, looking for romance. I don't care if she is broke! She's just trying to hang one on over on you. What do think this is? Seventh heaven?
- Eckbaum: On the fourth floor? It couldn't be.
- Jack: Trying to make a flop house out of this joint? A flop house for women! She slides out of bed and I slide in.
- [sarcastically]
- Jack: That's swell.
- Hubbell: Great work, bright eyes. No one ever listened to as much sales talk as that before. That calls for a celebration and not one minute later than this evening.
- Mary: Oh, Mr. Hubbell, I - I don't know, but, I...
- Hubbell: Ah, ha! I see promise waivering in those bright eyes. I've got two tickets for the Zeigfeld tonight - and you don't look to me like a young lady who would play a man a dirty trick three times in succession. Are you with me? Or, must I choke myself to death on one of our larger ice cubes?
- Jack: Hey, don't do that! She'll be madder than seventeen Siamese scorpions! She'll break out in spots!
- Eckbaum: For $15 a month, you'll have a place so comfortable to live in, I guarantee you'll be like a bug in the rug.
- Office Supervisor: You understand the terms? $10 a week and a 5% commission on all iceboxes sold through your efforts. A very generous offer!
- Mary: Oh, yes!
- Hubbell: Come, come, girls, now. Come, come. Fun's fun; but, you're telephone solicitors now, remember. A voice with a smile!
- Mary: Mr. Eckbaum, are you trying to get me to share a room with a man? Of all the vile, horrible things I've ever heard in my whole life!
- Eckbaum: No, not in the same bed! Never at the same time together. On that I insist! Fifteen minutes before she can come in, you gotta get out. You understand that? Even if I have to put Julius at the door to see that it happens.
- Jack: A rotten outrage. I won't have any moon-faced, corn-fed, goggle-eyed spinster in my room.
- Eckbaum: Oh, yes you will. You got to agree to that now.
- Hubbell: Miss Carroll, where are you taking those bright eyes?
- Mary: Home to the little nest, Mr. Hubbell.
- Hubbell: Oh, not yet, not yet. First, a dinner. A banquet! With nice, old Mr. Hubbell.
- Mary: A banquet, Mr. Hubbell?
- Hubbell: Well, you might call it that. Mr. Hubbell never does things by halves when gives a party, you know.
- Elise: Why are you so mean to me, Jack? Let's have a little drink. Where's a glass? You don't expect Mrs. Elise Peabody Whittington Smythe to drink out of a bottle?
- Jack: What are you gong to do tomorrow?
- Mary: Tomorrow?
- Jack: Yes, tomorrow you don't have to work Sundays, do you?
- Mary: Oh, tomorrow. Oh, I believe the Icy Air Company's giving a picnic for their employees. Three-legged races, greased pole, prizes and refreshments. I wonder if it will be any fun?
- Jack: Sounds terrible.
- Mary: I thought so too.