The Unguarded Hour

[at the Deardens' party, the guests are discussing the ongoing murder trial at which Sir Alan is the prosecuting attorney]

Lady Agatha Hathaway: My dear, I was at the trial today. Alan was thrilling! How he made that murderer squirm!

[she chooses an hors d'oeuvre from the tray offered by the waiter]

Lord Henry Hathaway: All the fellow did was to push his wife off a cliff.

Lady Agatha Hathaway: [as Lord Henry moves to take a canapé, Lady Agatha stops him] Henry!

[Sir Alan approaches]

Lady Agatha Hathaway: Oh, Alan, I was so proud of you today. How long will it take you to finish that little wretch?

Sir Alan Dearden: The trial may take another week.

Lady Agatha Hathaway: A whole week?

[chuckling while stuffing her face]

Lady Agatha Hathaway: I mustn't miss a single day!

Lady Helen Dudley Dearden: [softly] Excuse me, please.

[leaves]

Lord Henry Hathaway: Why is everybody so vicious about this fellow? After all, perhaps his wife *needed* murdering.

Lady Agatha Hathaway: Well, if you think that's funny, I don't!

[leaves in a huff]

Lord Henry Hathaway: [following his wife] My dear, my dear, it wasn't meant for you.

Waiter at party: [to Bunny] Cocktail, sir?

William 'Bunny' Jeffers: Lady Hathaway would have made a most charming cannibal. Can't you see her dancing 'round the pot while the victim boils?

Sir Alan Dearden: Well, anyway her morbidity is honest.