Quotes

Back to the Woods

Judge: Ye are accused of doing battle with his Majesty's guards. What say ye to the charge?
Larry: I can explain, judge. You see-eth, it was like this-eth...
Judge: Guilty! I sentence ye to Newcape Prison for forty years! Ye to forty-five! Ye to fifty!
Moe: Forty?
Larry: Forty-five?
Curly: Fifty? I got fifty. Fifty. Fifty, fifty, fifty, fifty, do I hear fifty-five, do I hear fifty five? Going once, twice, do I hear fifty-five? Who'll make it fifty-five?
Judge: [breaks gavel] I shall!
Curly: Thank you. I... Woo!
Judge: Fifty-five years for the lot of ye at hard labor!
Prosecutor: But, your lordship, t'would cost the crown a pretty penny to feed yon wastrels for fifty-five years! Why not send them to our colonies in America to fight the redskin savage?
Curly: Mmm, I just love corned beef and savage!
Judge: Silence! I now sentence ye knaves to defend our colonists from the savages!
Moe: Gadzooks! They'll scalp us alive!
Curly: Not me! Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!

Curly: [after the Stooges drop their balls and chains on the courtroom floor with the the NBC 3-note chimes] Fifteen seconds before 11:00 A.M. Baloney Watch Time.
Moe: Shut up!

Prosecutor: Your Lordship, these rogues do lay claim to be kin to the three musketeers.
Larry: One for all!
Moe: All for one!
Curly: Every man for himself!
Judge: Silence, ye knaves!

Moe: [Larry is unconscious] Quick, he's fainted. Bringeth water.
Curly: I'll be back before thou can say Ticonderoga, if thou can say Ticonderoga.

Larry: [as Curly heads for Faith, who is more attractive than her sister Charity] What doest thou? I saw her first!
Curly: Pish-posh and tish-tosh. I'll never give up Hope. Why does not thou take Charity?
Larry: I need not charity. I'm on the WPA.
Curly: WPA?
Larry: Aye! Willing Pilgrims Association.

Chief Rain in the Puss: Ugh! No more war. Give 5000 shekels.
Governor: But we have no more than this.
[Chief shakes a small pouchful of coins]
Chief Rain in the Puss: Mm! Good down payment. Take mortgage on balance - interest six per cent.
Pilgrim: Thank goodness! At last are we free to hunt?
Chief Rain in the Puss: No! No hunt till FOB!
Governor: FOB?
Chief Rain in the Puss: Mm. Fork over balance.
Curly: Indian givers.

Governor: [after returning to his house to see his daughters and the Stooges dancing to the music box] FIE! FIE! What means this frivolity?
[the music box still plays and the governor turns to it]
Governor: QUIET!
[the music stops]

[a sign at the edge of town: "'Plymouth City 'Limits / Come 'Again / Plymouth Chamber of Commerce"]

[the colonists are starving from the Native American's hunting restriction]
Moe: Tis a chance to redeem ourselves, lads. We shall hunt anyway and feed the colonists.
Curly: Thou hast said a mouthful.
Moe: I shall bringeth a moose.
Larry: And I shall bringeth an elk.
Curly: I'll bring a couple o' Odd Fellows, nyak nyuk nyuk.

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