- Lord Chaunduyt: Well, our fortunes seem to be on the turn, Bucket. If we go on like this, we'll soon be paying wages again.
- Butler: A refreshing prospect, my Lord.
- Mary: Just because hundreds of years ago somebody knocked somebody else off a horse, George Bucket isn't good enough to speak to us. Well, he's good enough to fight for us. And when he comes back, if he still wants me to, I intend to marry him. And no-one's going to stop me!
- Lord Chaunduyt: I think she really means it.
- Harriet: There was a time when age entitled one to a little respect.
- Lord Chaunduyt: I think the young people are beginning to see through that one.
- Loopy: [of Pike] Seems he's told them to plough up that cricket pitch.
- Harry Bucket: Plough it up?
- Peter Hayward: You say that as if he'd done a murder.
- Harry Bucket: Murder, sir, I could understand. But a man what ploughs up a cricket pitch...
- Smith: Your driving is absolutely scandalous.
- Bus-Driver: Thank you. It is nothing.
- Smith: [to his wife outside the bus] He's a refugee - French.
- Mrs. Smith: Well, there you are.
- Lord Chaunduyt: [Giving a public tour of his castle] In places like this, one is frequently shown a room in which Queen Elizabeth was said to have spent the night. Well, I need hardly tell you that these things would be very difficult to prove. But with regard to this room in which you are now standing, current documents will prove conclusively that this room is one of the very few in which Queen Elizabeth never spent the night.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Now, if you'll pass through that door and look out of the window on your left, you'll see an oak tree in which King Charles may well have hidden after the Battle of Worcester.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Are there any guest rooms that still have ceilings?
- Butler: Only in the old wing, me lord.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Well, I suppose you can get it ready.
- Butler: Yes, me lord. It'll mean turning the owls out of the bath.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Oh, that's a pity. Oh, I doubt if they'd care to stay.
- Butler: No, me lord.
- Pike: Last week he was caught red-handed taking a hare. And now there's some ridiculous legal quibble. And my lawyers say I can't prosecute because the animal was started on your side of the boundary.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Sounds rather like splitting hairs, doesn't it?
- Pike: It's no laughing matter.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Besides, he's in the Army now.
- Harriet: You say that as if the Army were a monastery. From what I hear, it's not at all the same thing.
- Lord Chaunduyt: My dear Harriet, for a Tenant's Ball, one needs two things - money and tenants. We've none of one and very few off the other.
- Harriet: Of course there'll be a ball. No "Bouquet" ever became of age without one.
- Lord Chaunduyt: No "Bouquet" ever came of age in the middle of a world war.
- Harriet: That is not our fault.
- Lord Chaunduyt: I wonder.
- Lord Chaunduyt: The telephone!
- Harriet: Yes. I paid your account. I was tired of never being able to ring you.
- Butler: [as they hear the telephone ring] We haven't heard that since Easter '41.
- Maid: Naw. It was the year the Germans went into Norway.
- Granfer: No, it wasn't. It was the year I put a new handle on my old broom.
- Cook: Well, aren't you going to answer it?
- Butler: Yeah. Where was it? Oh, yes, I remember.
- Harriet: As a member of a titled family...
- Mary: Oh, nuts!
- Harriet: I beg your pardon.
- Mary: All right, only don't let it happen again.
- Harriet: This is intolerable. Charles, you sit there stuffing yourself with toast while your child insults me.
- Lord Chaunduyt: Now, Harriet. I don't think Mary really meant to...
- Mary: Oh, yes I did.
- Mary: You don't think a title makes any difference, do you?
- Peter Hayward: We all look the same in our underpants.
- Mary: Yes, but we don't go about in them.
- Peter Hayward: No. Somehow I think it's rather a pity. Think how it would brighten up the House of Commons.
- Mary: I object to your talking like that about my... my fiancé. Besides, he's not a moron. He's a corporal.
- Peter Hayward: I like it because you can keep on drinking and it doesn't have the slightest effect. Mind remains clear as crystal. Brain works with precision of a... what were we talking about?
- Woman in courtroom: Why do they keep on going back?
- Butler: That's the law. It's a question of which can go back farthest.
- Lord Chaunduyt: My sister-in-law seems to be recovering.
- Butler: Very regrettable.
- Lord Chaunduyt: I rather agree.
- Harriet: Charles, tell me at once. Who am I? Or what am I?
- Lord Chaunduyt: Well, my dear Harriet, for the moment you're one of the old "Bouquets." But it rather looks as though very shortly, you'll be just an old "Bucket."
- Telegraph Boy: Hey, dad. Mom wants to know if she's going to be a lady.
- Harry Bucket: Well, I can't say for sure. But if they passes the special out of Parliament, it seems she'll be a lady and all you kids'll be little "hon-orables."
- Mary: Peter, I think I should tell you. I have to go away tomorrow morning.
- Peter Hayward: Tomorrow? When did you know?
- Mary: About half a minute ago.
- Butler: There's nothing else I can do for you, sir?
- Peter Hayward: [after tipping him a third time] No. Not until I've been to the bank.
- Ghost: I ought to get back to the ballroom or Harriet will be annoyed.
- Lord Chaunduyt: You'll never see another bottle like that. See Harriet every day.
- Ghost: Yes, that's just it.