- William Smith: A girl your age shouldn't be such an old maid.
- Janie Anderson: Well, is organizing your day being an old maid? For heaven's sake you have to when you are doing housekeeping, all the books tell you.
- William Smith: Maybe that's your trouble, Janie. You learned to be a wife out of a book. Yes sir, you've become an automaton. Too much schedule for a girl your age. Especially now that Andy's here. Of course, when he was away it was alright. But, now its your duty to make yourself attractive to your husband.
- Janie Anderson: Attractive?
- William Smith: Yes, attractive.
- Andy Anderson: Doesn't she ever go anyplace or have any fun?
- Henry Fairchild: Oh, sure, she and her Dad go to the pictures now and again.
- Andy Anderson: It sounds so exciting I can hardly stand it.
- Henry Fairchild: Oh, marriage is not supposed to be exciting.
- Henry Fairchild: Janie doesn't like us to be late for meals. It throws her off schedule.
- Andy Anderson: What schedule?
- Henry Fairchild: Her work schedule.
- Andy Anderson: She doesn't work.
- Henry Fairchild: She doesn't work? Say, listen. Six o'clock, she takes Bill up, dresses him. Six-thirty she feeds him. Seven o'clock she washes the diapers. Eight o'clock she cooks breakfast. Eight-thirty she washes the dishes. Nine o'clock... she makes the formula, sterilizes the bottles. Ten o'clock she feeds Bill. Ten-thirty she takes him out for an airing. Eleven o'clock she's got to be back and start cooking lunch. Twelve o'clock we eat lunch. Twelve-thirty she washes the dishes again. One o'clock she cleans her and Bill's room. And at one-thirty she gives Bill his bath and puts his sleepers on. Two o'clock she feeds him again and puts him down for his nap. Then 'tween two and four, while he's taking his nap, that's when she cleans the rest of the house. Then, at four o'clock she dresses him and puts him in the buggy and takes him downtown while she does the shopping for dinner. And she's got to get back to the house by five-thirty to start making dinner. Then, at six o'clock she feeds Bill again and at six-thirty she puts him to bed. At seven o'clock, we eat dinner. At eight o'clock she washes the dishes and at ten o'clock she gives Bill his last bottle and at ten-thirty she goes to bed. So, you can see what it would do if you were ten minutes late for a meal.
- Andy Anderson: Yes, it terrifies me.
- Janie Anderson: Oh, I'm terribly sorry that we couldn't meet you in San Francisco because, well, on account of the gasoline rationing and everything.
- Andy Anderson: On, no, the bus was swell.
- Counterman: Now, look, Bud, I'd imagine that after running into a wrong dame, like this one, you'd realize you got a pretty nice wife at home and you wouldn't want to get a divorce.
- Andy Anderson: She's my wife.
- Counterman: Who?
- Janie Anderson: Me, that's who!
- Janie Anderson: I was probably so cold my brain was numb.
- Andy Anderson: Well, you apparently never got thawed out, that's all I know.
- Janie Anderson: I don't think you could thaw anybody out anyway.
- William Smith: Now, look here - you leave me out of this. And you quit calling her my daughter and putting her in my lap. She's not my daughter - she's your wife.
- Andy Anderson: Oh, no, Mr. Smith. I left my wife in San Francisco a year and a half ago. This girl isn't my wife. She's your daughter, and Bill's mother, and Harry's landlady. But she's not my wife.