- Sally McGuire: Hello, glamour boy.
- Jimmy Plum: Hello Sally.
- Sally McGuire: What's dragging you down?
- Jimmy Plum: Well, I was out with my girlfriend and her boyfriend and we bumped into his wife and she said...
- Sally McGuire: Wait a minute. Say that again and say it slower.
- Aunt Betsy: Yes, you can't control fate.
- Jimmy Plum: No, but sometimes you can give it a little push in the right direction.
- Jimmy Plum: You see, the major and his wife are very much in love with each other. So they were divorced.
- Sally McGuire: That sounds sensible.
- Jimmy Plum: Yeah, but something tells me they're still in love with each other. It's a hunch.
- Sally McGuire: I know - man's intuition.
- Jimmy Plum: Yeah, but they're both too proud to admit it. If I could only think of some way to get 'em back together again.
- Sally McGuire: Jimmy, I'm going to talk to you as woman to woman.
- Jimmy Plum: You mean my slip's showing?
- Sally McGuire: Now take my advice. Go and see the major's wife and tell her she's still in love with her ex-husband.
- Angela Rutherford: What a disagreeable woman.
- Jimmy Plum: From a man's point of view, she's a very glamorous woman.
- Jimmy Plum: She certainly is sophisticated.
- Sally McGuire: Who, Angela?
- Jimmy Plum: No, the major's wife. I didn't even get to first base with her.
- Sally McGuire: You mean the major's wife?
- Jimmy Plum: No, Angela.
- Sally McGuire: Oh, I see, heh. I was a little mixed up at first, but now I'm becoming confused.
- Jimmy Plum: Are you gonna believe me, or are you gonna believe what you just saw? I, I mean, you haven't seen anything yet. I, uh, I, I mean, what am I saying?
- Angela Rutherford: I don't blame you a bit for getting rid of her.
- Maj. Hilary Jarret: I didn't. She got rid of me.
- Jimmy Plum: Anyway, everybody in town's talking about you two.
- Angela Rutherford: They are? What do they say?
- Jimmy Plum: Well, there's two schools of thought. Either you're robbing the grave or he's robbing the cradle.
- Sally McGuire: Oh, Jimmy all my life I've wanted a man. A man who'd make my hair stand on end; who'd send chills up and down my spine; who'd bring tears to my eyes.
- Jimmy Plum: You don't want a man. You want a shampoo, a massage and a bottle of horseradish.
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