- Jerry Miles: You see, we're doing some research work on zombies, and he said you could help us.
- Dr. Paul Renault: The fool! I know nothing about zombies. I came here to study a strange coconut blight.
- Mike Streger: Coconut blight? He said it was a banana blight.
- Dr. Paul Renault: Oh, Joseph is color blind.
- Prof. Hopkins: Do you know what zombies are?
- Mike Streger: No, I don't.
- Jerry Miles: I'm not too sure.
- Prof. Hopkins: They are the living dead!
- Worthington: [Panicking] Oh, me, oh, my!
- Prof. Hopkins: Worthington, come back here!
- Worthington: Then please don't say that livin' dead stuff, boss. I'm one of the livin' livin', but you givin' me the feelin' that if I stayed here, I'm goin' to be one of the dead dead.
- Jerry Miles: Professor, I don't understand it. Professor Hopkins said you made a great study of zombies.
- Dr. Paul Renault: Professor Hopkins always was strange. Some people say he was crazy, but I don't think he was crazy... not very crazy, anyway.
- Headwaiter: [at the Café San Sebastian] What are you going to have?
- Jerry Miles: Uh, I'll have a rum punch.
- Mike Streger: Uh, I think I'll have something "tripical".
- Jerry Miles: You mean "tropical".
- Mike Streger: [holding up 3 fingers] No, I mean "tripical". I'll have a tripical rum punch. I'm thirsty.
- Gus: I got an idea, boss.
- Ace Miller: Brother, I need an idea to get out of this jam.
- Gus: The cops find these two guys' bodies with a note pinned on 'em sayin' they committed suicide on account of they were so ashamed because they couldn't deliver a real zombie.
- Ace Miller: Hey, that's a possibility!
- Ace Miller: You do not resign and you do not quit and that guy Walker does not make a monk out of me to the tune of eighty grand! Now get this - you either produce a real zombie on opening night, or I take Gus's idea.
- Prof. Hopkins: His name was Dr. Renault, Dr. Paul Renault. Over twenty-five years ago, he went to the only place where zombies were known to exist - on the island of San Sebastian, one of the smaller Virgin Islands, but I haven't heard from him since.
- Mike Streger: Oh, we don't want to disturb him, do we Jerry?
- Prof. Hopkins: I don't know if he's alive or dead, but if he's alive, he can tell you what you want to know. Go to San Sebastian - Paul can help you.
- Jerry Miles: What's this Paul like... if he's alive?
- Prof. Hopkins: A great scientist. Yes, some people say he is crazy. I don't think he is crazy... well, ah, not very crazy, anyway.
- [pointing to a tropical island]
- Ship's captain: San Sebastian.
- Mike Streger: Is it a nice place?
- Ship's captain: To an undertaker, a cemetary is a nice place.
- Dr. Paul Renault: Oh, what is wrong, what is wrong? How can the natives do with their silly voodoo what I cannot accomplish by scientific means?
- Joseph: Perhaps because a zombie is something of the devil, not of science, Professor.
- Dr. Paul Renault: Nonsense. Nonsense! You have seen what I am able to do; you have seen me create a zombie. If only I could keep them in that state. If only they didn't die; return to normal in a short period...
- Jean LaDance: Hey, we're lucky! There's a full moon tonight. Listen! Those voodoo drums - that's the death beat you hear. We'll have to hurry.
- Jerry Miles: Wait a minute. How will we know a zombie if we see one?
- Jean LaDance: If you see a corpse walking around... that's a zombie.
- Joseph: It seems a waste to make a beautiful girl a zombie.
- Dr. Paul Renault: She'll be just as nice to look at... and if this formula works, her beauty will be preserved indefinitely.
- Dr. Paul Renault: There's no need to be afraid; the serum is entirely painless. Oh, you probably saw your friend and you wondered what was wrong with him. There's no harm in telling you now... he's in a state of suspended animation - that is, he is capable of functioning only under thought suggestions not his own. Or more simply... he is a *zombie*. In a few moments, you, too, will be one.
- Mike Streger: I guess I better think of something, huh?
- Jerry Miles: No! That's what caused all the trouble before. You had to think of a zombie? You couldn't say a two-headed boy or an African pinhead?
- Mike Streger: Where could you get those?
- Jerry Miles: Well, a pinhead would have been easy. I don't know where to start lookin' for a zombie.