- Bugs Bunny: Oh, for shame! Just look at your fingernails!
- [Bugs rushes off and immediately returns with manicurist's table and equipment and begins to do the monster's nails]
- Bugs Bunny: My, I bet you monsters lead interesting lives. I said to my girlfriend just the other day - Gee, I'll bet monsters are interesting, I said. The places you must go and the places you must see, my stars! And I'll bet you meet a lot of interesting people, too. I'm always interested in meeting interesting people. Now let's dip our patties in the water!
- [Bugs dips the monster's hands into two bowls, where two mousetraps snap shut on them]
- Bugs Bunny: Listen, Dracula... have you ever had the feeling you were being watched? Like the eyes of strange things are upon you?
- [points to the audience while whispering]
- Bugs Bunny: Look, out there, in the audience.
- Gossamer: PEOPLE! Aieeeeeeee!
- [Gossamer runs away through the laboratory walls screaming]
- Bugs Bunny: Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?
- Doctor in audience: I'm a doctor!
- Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, doc?
- Bugs Bunny: And so, having re-redisposed of the monster, exit our...
- [wind-up decoy walks by]
- Bugs Bunny: ... he... ro. Mechanical.
- [decoy kisses Bugs]
- Bugs Bunny: Well, so it's mechanical.
- [follows decoy]
- Bugs Bunny: And so, having disposed of the monster, exit our hero through the front door, stage right, none the worse for his harrowing experience.
- [Bugs goes up a flight of stairs but the lights aren't on. Gossamer chases after him, but Bugs runs back down the stairs and runs into Gossamer and knocks the monster down]
- Bugs Bunny: Don't go up there! It's dark!
- Peter Lorre Scientist: Just a minute, I have another little friend who'd like to eat... uh, uh, meet you.