- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: [in opera house box] In his autumn 'fore the winter comes man's last mad surge of youth
- Mrs. Ella Patterson: What on earth are you talking about?
- Martha Canford Chandler: You do look a little like Grandpa.
- Abigail Chandler: [Sadly] I feel a lot like Grandpa. You know I think Grandpa has the right idea being a drunkard.
- Uncle Jonathan: [to his niece Abigail] And you, young lady, had better be singing in the opera tonight or we'll all have to move to Wichita!
- 'Spike': [to Martha as she is about to go on stage] Spunk up, kid! All they can do is throw things at ya.
- Uncle Jonathan: If it's true, we're ruined. And what's more important, I'm ruined.
- Martha Canford Chandler: Oh, Uncle Jonathan. Hugo, are you sure he said Abigail?
- Hugh Inkerfield: Abigail. Your sister Abigail.
- Martha Canford Chandler: I don't believe it. Abigail is in New York but she'd never do a thing like... like...
- Aunt Jennifer: He said she sang... in public?
- Hugh Inkerfield: He said she sang and danced in a low café in the Bowery. That's what he said, Aunt Jennifer.
- Martha Canford Chandler: That's a lie.
- Aunt Jennifer: If it isn't, we're ruined socially.
- Grandpa Chandler: Remember when Cousin Harriet ran off with the hurdy gurdy man? Oh, ho ho!
- Uncle Jonathan: Cousin Harriet did not have an uncle running for mayor of Boston.
- [Suddenly]
- Uncle Jonathan: I have it! It's a political plot to ruin my campaign, that's what it is!
- Aunt Jennifer: I see what it is. It's your rival.
- Uncle Jonathan: It's that Wetherby. He started this slander.
- Hugh Inkerfield: He's no gentleman, Uncle Jonathan.
- Uncle Jonathan: He's a... he's a... Democrat! I'll sue him for libel.
- Martha Canford Chandler: He should be put in jail!
- Aunt Jennifer: Oh, I think it's most unfair.
- Uncle Jonathan: I'll sue him for $100,000. That's what I'll do.
- Grandpa Chandler: You never can tell. Little Abigail looked just like Cousin Harriet when she was a baby. Why they even said she looked like me!
- Aunt Jennifer: Why, she does look like Grandpa. I'd forgotten.
- Grandpa Chandler: You'll never keep Abigail in mothballs, believe me.
- [He cackles]
- Uncle Jonathan: Silence!
- 'Spike': Listen bub, this girl is married, has ten children and I'm the youngest. Do I make myself clear?
- Madame Grenadi: [during rehearsal, Olstrom cannot bring himself to embrace Madame Grenadi, a quarrel ensues] You dare ridicule me? You, the custodian of a... of a flea?
- [gestures flamboyantly at Olstrom's prostrate dog]
- Olstrom: [offended] What flea?
- Madame Grenadi: [approaches the dog] There! Your friend and admirer!
- Olstrom: Poor little dog! Poor Tristan, he does nothing but sleep!
- Madame Grenadi: Right through my solo!
- Olstrom: [gestures operatically] Madam, am I to blame if my dog is a critic?
- Wrigley: [Pointing to Abigail, he is drunk and forcibly escorted away] She's the "Queen of Burlesque" with the Golden Rooster! She's "The Belle of the Bowery!"
- Mrs. Ella Patterson: Oh dear, dear. This is dreadful. This is really dreadful.
- [to Abigail]
- Mrs. Ella Patterson: I'm so sorry.
- 'Spike': Well, what's the matter with being "The Belle of the Bowery?" What's wrong with that?
- Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.: There's nothing the matter with being "The Belle of the Bowery" Mr. Marengo except she's not the sort of a person we'd care to have in the opera.
- 'Spike': Oh, you was thinkin' of her for the opera?
- Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.: Miss Abigail has a very beautiful voice. I'm sure it was the alcohol in Wrigley that was talking, wasn't it Miss Abigail?
- Martha Canford Chandler: [Before Abigail can speak, Martha jumps in] Oh, he meant me. I'm the one who sings at the Golden Rooster, not Abigail.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Martha, have you lost your mind?
- Martha Canford Chandler: I am High "C" Suzie.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: [laughs nervously] This is ridiculous. Abigail, what's gotten into her?
- Abigail Chandler: I'm sure that butler's been drinking.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Mr. Marengo, you know she's talking nonsense.
- 'Spike': [to Martha] Are you on the level, kid?
- Martha Canford Chandler: I'm "The Belle of the Bowery" and I'm proud of it.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Well, I... I refuse to believe it. I shall, if necessary, go down to, uh, the place and prove it all to be a fiction.
- Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.: That might be best.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: I shall be there tomorrow night.
- Mr. Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Sr.: I think it a very good idea.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: We mustn't despair, ever. My father comes from good stock. Why, his grandfather was the first white man to scalp and Indian. And I'm sure your side comes from good stock. Why, you fainted - that's a sign of good blood.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Don't despair now. Don't despair. You know Greek and I know Greek. We'll see this thing through together.
- Martha Canford Chandler: I just hope he doesn't hit you. Suppose he fell on you.
- 'Spike': Don't worry, kid. He's just another hunk of rhubarb pie to me.
- Martha Canford Chandler: [Hiccups] Oh, I'm sorry. I Must have inherited it from grandpa.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Oh, but of course, it's from the gin. I read somewhere that hiccupping is one of the consequences of drinking.
- Martha Canford Chandler: Gin?
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Yes.
- Martha Canford Chandler: What is gin?
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: It's a, a form of alcohol. I strengthened you with it - oh, for medicinal purposes only, of course.
- 'Spike': This babe, uh, is she a canary with steam? You know - does she chirp, is she a thrush?
- Bowery Chorine: He means is she a warbler?
- Martha Canford Chandler: She sings, if that's what you mean.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: You are very brave, Miss Chandler. We must stick together - you and I. We're both in the same sad plight. As Euripides, the great Greek Dramatist once wrote,
- [He quotes in Greek]
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: , which, translated means, the best...
- Martha Canford Chandler: ...best remedy for grief is the counsel of a kind and honest friend.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: You know Greek!
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Where's my mother, Wrigley.
- Wrigley: Upstairs, sir, dressing. She's going to a meeting of the Society of Society's Society, sir.
- 'Spike': Are you sure she's from Boston.
- Martha Canford Chandler: Oh, yes indeed. Her family's lived there for generations.
- 'Spike': Naw, this kid ain't that old. That ain't her.
- 'Spike': [breaking past guard trying to keep him away from Olstrom] Brother, you're tougher to corner than the stock market! I've been chasing you all over town ...
- Abigail Chandler: Thank you, Spike.
- 'Spike': Whoa, there. Don't go pinning the tail on the wrong donkey. I didn't do nuttin'. She came looking for ya down at the Rooster.
- 'Spike': What're ya doin'?
- Abigail Chandler: I'm leaving.
- 'Spike': Leavin'? You can't do that. You'll cook the goose of the Golden Rooster.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Yes, Wrigley?
- Wrigley: A Miss Chandler to see you, sir.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Miss Ch...
- [He falls down the library ladder and it falls on him]
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: She dare to come to this house?
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: [after Martha faints, and he pours some gin on her lips] Miss. Miss. Please, just open your eyes. One eye? Please.
- Martha Canford Chandler: [Moves her head a little] Mmmm.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: She moved. She's alive. She's alive!
- Mrs. Ella Patterson: What on earth are you talking about.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: Oh, a word of wisdom by the Greek poet, Sophocles.
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: We mustn't lose hope. I have read that great sons have gone up the primrose path for their dear ones. Perhaps we can bring the same influence to bear.
- 'Spike': Hiya, Georgie, old pelican. How's your liver?
- George - Opera Stage Doorman: Whadda you want?
- 'Spike': George, Georgie, you haven't changed a bit, have you?
- [to Abigail]
- 'Spike': Hasn't changed a bit - same old jolly pop.
- [Back to George]
- 'Spike': George, we're going in to see what's his name -- you know, the guy that runs the chorus.
- George - Opera Stage Doorman: Mr. Ossifish.
- 'Spike': Yeah.
- George - Opera Stage Doorman: The chorus master.
- 'Spike': Yeah. Octo-fish. Put on a little weight, haven't ya?
- Lawrence Tyburt Patterson Jr: If you don't mind, we'd better have the door shut. All ears are not calloused, Miss Chandler.