- Schultz: Hey bud, you sure you're going the shortest way?
- Taxi Driver: Nope.
- Schultz: Why not?
- Taxi Driver: Cus I gotta stay on the road.
- Margaud Morgan: For months I've been wondering why I got married in the first place. Now I know it was the uniform.
- Leo Gogarty: You forget that I was in the uniform at the time.
- Mrs. Minerva Alsop Morgan: Margaud's upset about something.
- D. Rutherford Morgan: You don't say?
- Mrs. Minerva Alsop Morgan: She very definitely has something on her mind.
- D. Rutherford Morgan: If she has anything on her mind it's a step in the right direction.
- Margaud Morgan: Why don't you try to act like a gentleman and go away?
- Leo Gogarty: Where would you have me go?
- 'Skippy' Stuart Simms: I wish you'd ask me that question.
- Margaud Morgan: Don't bother about me, nobody's interested in what I'm doing.
- 'Skippy' Stuart Simms: Then why don't you stop doing it?
- Margaud Morgan: You must have some urgent plans.
- Leo Gogarty: That's a good guess.
- Margaud Morgan: Do they involve anyone I know?
- Leo Gogarty: Who do you know?
- Margaud Morgan: The best people.
- Leo Gogarty: My plans involve the best things about the best people.
- Schultz: Why don't you two pull knives on each other and get it over with?
- Leo Gogarty: If a lady asks you to jump on her bed, you'd better do it - she may not repeat the invitation!
- Leo Gogarty: I'll... be seein' you around, Maggie. But don't worry, you'll get your divorce without wasting all those beautiful tears. You know, tears are a woman's weapon, and you no longer appeal to me as a woman.