- Paul Fabrini: Sure, I want to sleep. Everyone sleeps once in a while, remember? You'd think I wanted to do something peculiar.
- Sue Carter: What's your name?
- Irish McGurn: What's the difference? Sit down and have a drink. It's drinking that makes you beautiful.
- Sue Carter: Aw, I haven't been drinking.
- Irish McGurn: I know, but I have.
- Cassie Hartley: You're a nice guy. But you've got to remember that nice guys always leave when ladies ask them to.
- Joe Fabrini: That nice, I ain't.
- Cassie Hartley: Anything else?
- Joe Fabrini: Yeah, but it ain't on the menu.
- Cassie Hartley: And it ain't gunna be.
- Farnsworth: Well, you don't have to be nasty about it.
- Paul Fabrini: We don't have to be, but it's more fun that way.
- Joe Fabrini: When I'm relaxed my thoughts are clear.
- Cassie Hartley: Yeah, I can even read them from here.
- Joe Fabrini: [spraying himself with a hose at a service station] This is the nearest thing I've had to a bath in two weeks.
- Pete Haig: Yeah, I noticed.
- Joe Fabrini: You know something, Red? l like you. l like the way you fill out your clothes. l like everything about you.
- Joe Fabrini: l ain't danced in a long time.
- Cassie Hartley: Me neither, and l used to love it. lt's the most fun you can have without laughing.
- Joe Fabrini: Give me a cup of coffee.
- Cassie Hartley: Anything else?
- Joe Fabrini: Yeah, what else you got that ain't poisonous?
- Cassie Hartley: I don't know. I never eat here.
- Lana Carlsen: I wonder what I see in you, anyway. You're crude. You're uneducated. You've never had a pair of pants with a crease in them. And yet, I couldn't say no to you.
- Joe Fabrini: Some day you road skinners will be sayin', "Joe Fabrini's a good guy to work for." And I will be.
- Cassie Hartley: I'll pay you back.
- Joe Fabrini: Yeah, I'm real worried about that. I've got it all doped out with the cops if you don't.
- Paul Fabrini: [about taking over the business] Oh no, not me. I got too many other problems. We're going to have a baby.
- Irish McGurn: [about Paul's wife, Pearl] Congratulations. Say, does Pearl know?
- Paul Fabrini: You know, when I was riding that truck, I used to think I'd never get enough of staying home. I've got enough all right.
- Irish McGurn: Another cup of java.
- Barney: You must like our coffee.
- Irish McGurn: It stinks.
- Cassie Hartley: I noticed you're drinking your seventh cup.
- Irish McGurn: I like your sugar.
- Paul Fabrini: [about the company's new refrigeration trucks] I don't know where I'm going to get twenty drivers quick to wheel 'em. You know Bill McGowan. Is he a good driver?
- Irish McGurn: Well, I don't want to say anything bad about the guy, but when the road turns the same time he does, it's just a coincidence.
- Lana Carlsen: [about Joe's announcement that he is marrying Cassie] I committed murder to get you. Understand? Murder!
- Joe Fabrini: You what?
- Lana Carlsen: Sure! I killed Ed. I killed him to get you because you were always throwing him in my face. "Yes, Mrs. Carlsen." "No, Mrs. Carlsen." "No, Mrs. Carlsen." "Goodnight, Mrs. Carlsen." You made me do it. You understand? I didn't want to kill anyone, but you made me murder Ed... your friend!
- Ed Carlsen: Hello, sug.
- Lana Carlsen: Don't you ever knock?
- Ed Carlsen: It's all right. We're married. Don't you remember?
- Lana Carlsen: Yeah, how can I forget?
- Waitress: What will it be, boys?
- Paul Fabrini: A T-bone, rare, and make it good this time. The last one I had could've been used for a manhole cover.
- Waitress: This one will be so tender, it'll throw its arms around you.
- Joe Fabrini: I always have liked redheads.
- Cassie Hartley: You shouldn't. Red means stop.
- Joe Fabrini: I'm colorblind.
- Ed Carlsen: [Pulls out a half-empty bottle of liquor from a drawer] The mice must have got into this.
- Lana Carlsen: That was no mice, that was a rat.
- Ed Carlsen: Very funny. Very funny, babe!
- Ed Carlsen: A glass of champagne?
- Joe Fabrini: No, thanks.
- Lana Carlsen: You know Joe never takes a drink.
- Ed Carlsen: I know. He's like me. I don't either, unless I got a glass in each hand.
- Lana Carlsen: Charles, bring Mr. Carlsen some water, will you?
- Charles Culpepper: Yes, ma'am.
- Ed Carlsen: I said thirsty, didn't I? Not dirty.
- Ed Carlsen: And here we have a badminton court. Great game. A couple of guys chase a feather with fly swatters... and the one that don't drop dead wins the game!
- Lana Carlsen: You're having a visitor, you may as well put your coat on. If you can't sound like an executive, you might try looking like one.
- Ed Carlsen: You're gonna make a gentleman out of me yet.
- Lana Carlsen: I doubt it.
- Lana Carlsen: Your liver must look like a bomb hit it.
- Ed Carlsen: Well, you know what I say. Live and let liver.