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Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Shemp Howard in Income Tax Sappy (1954)

Quotes

Income Tax Sappy

Edit
  • Shemp: [after Moe had crunched Larry's nose with scissors] Looks like a V8!
  • Moe: You nitwit! You ruined my trophy! Now help me pick up the pieces so I can repair it.
  • Shemp: [holding up a piece] Here's a nice big piece.
  • Moe: Let me have it.
  • Shemp: With pleasure.
  • [Shemp bonks Moe on the head]
  • Moe: Say, Shemp, how much you gonna deduct for dependents?
  • Shemp: Forty-four hundred dollars.
  • Larry: That's eleven dependents! Who are they?
  • Shemp: My ex-wife and ten bartenders.
  • Moe: Why don't you quit kidding?
  • Shemp: Who's kidding?
  • Moe: Why, you...
  • [Moe moves to punch Shemp, but he ducks and Moe punches Larry]
  • Larry: How much should I deduct for charity?
  • Moe: Anything, take $3000.
  • Larry: Oh, that's very good.
  • Moe: Yeah, but you got to put down who got the money.
  • Larry: I got it.
  • Moe: Oh, you'll never get away with that.
  • Larry: Why not? Charity begins at home.
  • Moe: You're a smart imbecile.
  • Moe: Say Shemp, I need some more deductions. Got any ideas?
  • Shemp: Have you any bad debts?
  • Moe: Yeah, I owe Uncle Jack $1500.
  • Shemp: Then deduct it from your income tax.
  • Moe: How can I? I owe him.
  • Shemp: Do you expect to pay it?
  • Moe: No.
  • Shemp: Then it's a bad debt.
  • Moe: Smart thinkin', boy, smart.

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