- Jack Carson: [after being slapped] What was that for?
- Joan Crawford: Oh, I do that in all my pictures.
- Jack Carson: She gave you a chance to be directed by Carson.
- Dennis Morgan: Directed! You couldn't even teach Lassie how to act like a dog!
- Publicity man: Now, listen boys, send a couple of cameramen over to Pasadena. We want some cheesecake on Yvonne Amour. You know, 'I love America' with legs crossed.
- Reporter: What do I tell them? They want a biography.
- Publicity man: Yvonne Amour. Born in the shadow of the Eiffel tower.
- Reporter: How to you know?
- Publicity man: It's a big tower!
- Publicity man: Her father. A colonel in the French Foreign Legion. Killed sixteen years ago in Northern Afghanistan. Let's see them check that!
- Jack Carson: Believe me, Dennis, I'll see to it that she is as good in this as Jane Wyman was in Johnny Belinda.
- Dennis Morgan: She didn't even *talk* in that one!
- Jack Carson: Well, you can't have *everything*.
- Jack Carson: But Dennis! Dennis, you've got to help me find a leading lady. Look. We're pals! Buddies! When you first came to Hollywood, down on your luck, broke, didn't have what to eat, who gave you the first square meal?
- Dennis Morgan: Salvation Army!
- Jack Carson: Well, who phoned them?
- Dennis Morgan: Who gave you the nickel?
- Jack Carson: It was a slug!
- Judy Adams: I'm sorry, Mr. Greenstreet, I was running to Jack Carson's dressing room.
- Sydney Greenstreet: That's a switch. They're usually running when they come out.
- Jack Carson: You're new here, aren't you?
- Judy Adams: Well, I've only been at Warner Brothers a little while, but I've been in Hollywood three months, four days and 22 hours.
- Jack Carson: Oh, a native, huh?
- Arthur Trent: You know, this'll be my first vacation in 20 years.
- Trent's Secretary: It'll do you good.
- Arthur Trent: Pretty decent of the studio to pay my expenses East... make my reservations for me... tell me to stay as long as I like... Who's trying to get rid of me?
- Jack Carson: Hey, uh, you think you could spare me for a minute? I forgot about a phone call I have to make.
- Dennis Morgan: Don't be too soon.
- Dennis Morgan: If you could make her think we're really a couple a heels.
- Jack Carson: Oh, now, Dennis. How could we possibly do that?
- Dennis Morgan: Judy, listen to everything Jack says. Do exactly the opposite. You'll be a big success.
- Jack Carson: Hey Dennis, I think you've got something there. I'll discover her. I'll put her in the picture. I'll direct her, and that beautiful little doll will be grateful to me! *Very* grateful.
- Dennis Morgan: Oh, no. *I* will discover her. I'll play the love scenes with her. We'll rehearse at my house at night. And she will be very grateful to *me*.
- Judy Adams: [Dressed as Yvonne Amour] I can't keep my eyes open. My eyelashes are getting so heavy.
- Dennis Morgan: Hold your head back.
- Judy Adams: If I do, my wig starts slipping.
- Publicity man: Mademoiselle Amour, welcome to Warner Brothers.
- Judy Adams: [With French accent] Oh, I love America.
- Trent's Secretary: Please, Mr. Trent, take another one of these.
- [Hands him a pill]
- Arthur Trent: Sometimes I even wonder about you.
- Trent's Secretary: Ohhh.
- [Hurt]
- Jack Carson: Well, I guess I'll go get myself a glass of orange juice.
- Dennis Morgan: I think I'll go get myself a glass of milk.
- Dennis Morgan: [answering his door] Yes?
- Judy Adams: My husband must never know.
- Dennis Morgan: Don't worry, I'll be the last one to tell him.
- Judy Adams: Really - if he knew I came here, there's no telling what he would do.
- Dennis Morgan: Oh, that clears up everything. It's been nice seeing you.
- Judy Adams: But you don't understand. I am Mrs. Jack Carson.
- Dennis Morgan: Mrs. Jack Carson?
- Arthur Trent: [Pacing excitedly] I'll get the front office. No! How do I know who's my friend? How do I know who's my enemy? Everybody's so sweet to me.
- Jack Carson: [to Dennis Morgan] Mind if I join you for lunch? They won't deliver it to my dressing room anymore.
- Jack Carson: Oh, hello, Dennis. I was just saying some nice things about you.
- Dennis Morgan: I know. I saw the razor.
- Jack Carson: [Sitting on the grassy knoll behind the stadium seats] Anybody wanna use the field glasses?
- Dennis Morgan: Oh, no. I'd rather guess at the whole thing.
- Jack Carson: Well, I'm glad they were sold out. It's so much more beautiful from up here.
- Dennis Morgan: Except when the clouds get in your way.
- Arthur Trent: The wolves are moving in. My chair isn't even cold yet. Somebody else is taking over my job - producing "Mademoiselle Fifi."
- Jack Carson: Hey, wait a minute, you didn't finish my nails yet.
- Agnes the Manicurist: You got teeth haven't you? Hello, Mr. Morgan.
- Dennis Morgan: Hello, Agnes.
- Publicity man: Yvonne Amour - born in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.
- Flack: How do you know?
- Publicity man: It's a big tower. Her father - a colonel in the French Foreign Legion. Killed 16 years ago in northern Afghanistan. Let's see 'em check that.
- Flack: Mother?
- Publicity man: A Russian ballerina. White Russian, of course. So beautiful, 18 duels were fought over her.
- Flack: Living?
- Publicity man: Poor kid -- got caught in a crossfire. So much for the facts. The rest you can make up.
- Judy Adams: This is a delicious lunch.
- Jack Carson: I wish it weren't. I better not get used to eating.
- Dennis Morgan: What'd you promise her to get her to do this?
- Jack Carson: You know, a part in the picture - the usual malarky.
- Dennis Morgan: Did you ever stop to think that maybe she believed you?
- Jack Carson: Oh, how could she? Everybody knows I'm a liar.
- Dennis Morgan: Maybe word hasn't reached Gurky's Corners yet.
- Dennis Morgan: [answering door] Oh, it's only you.
- WB Messenger Boy: Well, what do you want for 18.50 a week, Virginia Mayo?