Art Linkletter credited as playing...
Happy Hogan
- Happy Hogan: You have five seconds to tell us the Japanese word for goodbye. 1... 2...
- Beauregard Bottomley: Sayonara. Not to be confused with cyanide, which is, of course, goodbye in any language.
- Happy Hogan: [Referring to his engagement to Bottomley's sister] Aren't you going to wish us good luck?
- Beauregard Bottomley: Well, you're obnoxious but not as obnoxious as I thought you were.
- Happy Hogan: Is there something special about me that you dislike or do you hate me for myself alone?
- Beauregard Bottomley: Oh, I don't hate you Mr. Hogan.
- Gwenn Bottomley: He merely thinks you are the forerunner of intellectual destruction in America.
- Beauregard Bottomley: Yes, nothing personal.
- Gwenn Bottomley: You know my brother thinks you're seeing me in order to get some information about him. I think so too.
- Happy Hogan: In other words, I'm a heel?
- Gwenn Bottomley: Not in other words. Same words.
- Happy Hogan: Hi!
- Beauregard Bottomley: Mr Hogan, you are most unwelcome here.
- Gwenn Bottomley: He's taking lessons.
- Beauregard Bottomley: My dear Happy Hogan, at the last count there was ten thousand, four hundred and eighty-two piano teachers in greater Los Angeles. Your appearance here suggests an ulterior design.
- Gwenn Bottomley: But I think he's really interested in the piano and I'd like us to continue what we started... with the piano.
- Happy Hogan: By the way, you said an Aardvark is an ant eater. Is he also an uncle eater?
- Beauregard Bottomley: Yes, as a matter of fact the Aardvark is an uncle eater but he only eats the uncles of the ants.