- District Attorney Ralph Munsey: Take it easy, Reese. Things are tough all over. Pretty soon a man won't be able to sell his own mother.
- Mike Reese: [pointing at the hard copy] Now you take the last three issues of the Sentinel. I'll bet they're flat. Weddings... Birthday parties... Strawberry festivals.
- Cathy Harris: Well, that's why the paper sells. Everybody likes to see his name in print.
- Mike Reese: Yeah, that's the theory, but look at the telephone book: they have to give that away.
- George Parker: We're too close to the city to compete on news. The big papers sell out here.
- Mike Reese: I'm talking about local news... but with a slant. Now if Mr. Woofis for instance were seen buying a drink for Mrs. Toofis, that's something that Mrs. Goofis would eat up, not to mention, uh, Mrs. Woofis and Mr. Toofis. But, if Mr. Woofis happens to be an advertiser, maybe we forget all about it.
- [looks of consternation come across Cathy and Parky's faces]