Desi Arnaz credited as playing...
Ricky Ricardo
- Lucy Ricardo: How much do you want to bet?
- Fred Mertz: Ten dollars.
- Ethel Mertz: Well what's the matter with twenty dollars?
- Ricky Ricardo: What's the matter with thirty dollars?
- Lucy Ricardo: What's the matter with fifty dollars?
- Fred Mertz: What was the matter with ten dollars?
- Lucy Ricardo: This whole thing is Ricky's fault.
- Ricky Ricardo: MY FAULT?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, if you hadn't have left Cuba to come to America, we wouldn't have gotten married and we never would've come to Switzerland in the first place.
- Ricky Ricardo: This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess.
- Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
- Ricky Ricardo: "I do."
- Lucy's Doctor from Jamestown: Hello, Mr. Ricardo. I'm the man who brought your wife into the world!
- Ricky Ricardo: I don't know whether to thank you or punch you in the nose!
- Ricky Ricardo: I don't like that tone. You are thinking again.
- Lucy Ricardo: There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and...
- Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum.
- Ethel Mertz: An ultimatum? I'm not surprised.
- Lucy Ricardo: I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.
- Ricky Ricardo: [sees pancakes on his plate] Hey! Tortillas!
- Lucy Ricardo: [sarcastically] Yeah. I made them out of Aunt Jemima Tortilla Mix.
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh, I keep forgetting here in America you call them Flap Cakes.
- Lucy Ricardo: Come again?
- Ricky Ricardo: Hot Jacks?
- Lucy Ricardo: You were closer with tortillas. They are Hot Cakes!
- Ricky Ricardo: Oh!
- [tastes some]
- Ricky Ricardo: No, these are Cold Cakes.
- Ricky Ricardo: [with heavy accent] I won't switch apartments. Understand?
- Lucy Ricardo: Yes.
- Ricky Ricardo: What did I say?
- Lucy Ricardo: "I wun't swish aparments".
- Ricky Ricardo: Fred, I've got an awful problem on my hands.
- Fred Mertz: You should have thought about that before you married her.
- Lucy Ricardo: [Lucy gets caught spying on the neighbors] I was, uh... bird-watching!
- Ricky Ricardo: Bird-watching?
- Lucy Ricardo: Uh, yeah! Do you know that there's a yellow-bellied woodpecker on our lawn?
- Ricky Ricardo: No, but I know that there's a red-headed cuckoo in the living room.
- Ricky Ricardo: I can't afford it.
- Lucy Ricardo: Those must have been the first English words you learned.
- Ricky Ricardo: We've got to use our brains.
- Lucy Ricardo: Well, let's see...
- Ricky Ricardo: You stay out of this.
- Ricky Ricardo: Did Ricky give you a tough day?
- Lucy Ricardo: No, just the same as any other day: after breakfast, I put on his snow suit. I pull on his galoshes. I slip on his mittens. I walk him to the park. He chases the pigeons. I chase after him. He runs after the squirrels. I run after him. He get's on the swing. I push the swing. We go on the teeter-totter. He teeters, I totter. Then we leave the park and we walk home. I pull off his galoshes. I pull off his mittens. I pull off his snow suit. I tell him to go into his room and play with his teddy bear. And that is why you find me sitting here with my coat and my boots on.
- Ricky Ricardo: Whew! I'm worn out from just listening.
- Ricky Ricardo: (losing his temper after Lucy screwed up his chance to be in a Broadway Play) You did what?
- Lucy Ricardo: I was only trying to help.
- Ricky Ricardo: (shouting) Help?
- Lucy Ricardo: HELP.
- Fred Mertz: We'll sue you.
- Ricky Ricardo: Yeah? We'll see who's gonna sue who.
- Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, we'll sue who's gonna see...
- Lucy Ricardo: What are you? The Cuban television network?
- Ricky Ricardo: Yes. CBS. The Cuban Broadcasting System.
- Ethel Mertz: I refuse to go anywhere with someone who thinks I am a hippopotamus.
- Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, is this true?
- Lucy Ricardo: No, I just implied that she was a little hippy... though she has got the biggest potamus I've ever seen.
- Ricky Ricardo: Something's wrong with the electricity. My shaver isn't working.
- Lucy Ricardo: Something's wrong with the gas. My chicken isn't working.