- Alfred North: For a critic that first step is the first printed joke. It gets a laugh and a whole new world opens up. He makes another joke, and another. And then one day along comes a joke that shouldn't be made because the show he's reviewing is a good show. But, as it so happens, it's a good joke. And you know what? The joke wins.
- [Mrs Robinson meets Ms Vaughn in her son-in-law's room]
- Deborah Vaughn: It's all right. I wasn't here first.
- Suzie Robinson: As long as you're not here last.
- Suzie Robinson: I don't know you as well as I did when you were a child, but you were one of the dumbest children I ever met!
- Kate Robinson Mackay: A girl's best friend is her mother!
- David Mackay: Gee, Ma, you act as if we were monsters or something.
- Kate Robinson Mackay: Well, you are. You're just lucky that I happen to be peculiar and love monsters.
- Alfred North: [reads Larry Mackay's drama review of his wife's play] He says the Hooton Players are charming - particularly their leading lady - but they're wasting time on a twenty-year old play written by a man with no talent for writing plays - namely, himself. "It was rejected by every Broadway producer in terms so outraged, that I determined never to write another one, thus saving myself years of futile effort and frustration." Here comes the cherry on the banana split: "I have been under attack of late by my near and dear for what they consider my cruelty as a critic. But this glimpse of my past monstrosity has made me so grateful to those I once thought cruel, that I shall go on yelling "Tripe," whenever tripe is served."... Well, we certainly taught HIM a lesson!
- Kate Robinson Mackay: This whole nonsensical thing is costing me everything important in my life... Do you think he'll come to the performance?
- Alfred North: [Once again reads directly from the article] "Tonight when the curtain rises on "So Passion Dies" I shall be far, far away. And, dear reader, may I wish you the same good fortune."
- Laurence Mackay: [meets Deborah Vaughn in a trendy lounge with down-beat blues music playing] You know, it's funny. I always think of you at big, gay, noisy parties, surrounded by big, gay, noisy people.
- George Mackay: [slightly baffled by the rather masculine appearance of Dr. Sprouk] Excuse me, are you a lady or a man?
- Kate Robinson Mackay: [embarrassed] George!
- Dr. Sprouk: I'm a veterinarian, sonny. It's somewhere in-between.
- Deborah Vaughn: I'm thinking of going
- [pauses while waiter leaves drinks]
- Deborah Vaughn: on the make for you.
- [Laurence stares]
- Deborah Vaughn: Shock technique: Effective, isn't it?
- Laurence Mackay: Staggering. But why?
- Deborah Vaughn: The usual; I like the way you look.
- Laurence Mackay: Since when?
- Deborah Vaughn: Does it have to be retroactive?
- Deborah Vaughn: You wrote a play? I'd like to read it...
- Joe Positano: I have to warn you, it's a bad script.
- Deborah Vaughn: Don"t worry - I have terrible taste!
- Laurence Mackay: There are interesting failures. There are prestige failures, and there are financial failures, but this is the sort of failure that gives failures a bad name.
- Laurence Mackay: I'm not mean, no one thinks I'm mean! Except my wife.
- Deborah Vaughn: Well, she can't always be wrong.
- Kate Robinson Mackay: Darling, interesting people don't want to make friends with housewives.
- Laurence Mackay: You shouldn't call yourself a housewife. You're so much more than that.
- Kate Robinson Mackay: So is every other housewife.
- Deborah Vaughn: You can relax now, I'm leaving. I have a performance to give.
- Laurence Mackay: You've been giving one.
- Deborah Vaughn: Just a warm-up for a cold critic.
- Laurence Mackay: I'm not cold. I'm just not available.
- Deborah Vaughn: Don't be silly, sweetie. Everyone's available who isn't dead.
- Laurence Mackay: Gus, have you ever been in a situation where you're right and everybody else is wrong, but you just can't get them to see it?
- Gus: Every day of my life. My wife, my kids, the busboys, everybody.
- Laurence Mackay: You're like every hysterical writer in the world. All you want is praise, praise, and more praise.
- Kate Robinson Mackay: [Wearily] How did I get older than you?
- Suzie Robinson: No character, that's why.
- Suzie Robinson: Now up to now I don't think anything has happened between Larry and that nasty-looking girl.
- Kate Robinson Mackay: She is a nasty looking, isn't she?
- Suzie Robinson: But if you go on neglecting him, something will happen. Did you see the dress she had on?
- Kate Robinson Mackay: Falsies.
- Suzie Robinson: He doesn't know it. I hope. Did you see her make-up? Her hair?
- Kate Robinson Mackay: Mother, what am I supposed to do? Wear a black lace negligee to the supermarket?
- Suzie Robinson: No, that is not what you're supposed to do. I'll tell you what you are supposed to do. You pull yourself together, get this house in order, get on the phone, call Larry, tell him you miss him and you love him, and you want him to come home.