Colossus and the Amazon Queen

Comedic sword and sandal attempt has Aussie Rod Taylor playing a cheeky swindler, conned into travelling to an island on the promise of treasure, discovering that he and his companions are actually man-cargo being delivered to a race of lusty Amazon women for domestic and sexual servitude. Doesn't sound all that bad really. Trouble emerges when the warrior-who-would-be-Queen (Gray) falls for the burly Glauco (Fury), deepening a rift between her and nemesis Melitta (Rocca) that spirals into an internecine contest, further compounded when pirates discover the secluded hamlet.

It's frolicking fun with a high camp quality that you'll either find amusing or dull. Taylor and Fury rarely have a moment without some form of slapstick or situation comedy, while beauties Gray and Rocca have an hilarious rivalry of which Rocca always seems to be on the wrong end. I thought her frequent stumbles were pretty funny in a corny sort of way, and Gianna Canale's horny Queen Regina constantly bemoaning her chastity vow ("does a kiss have a flavour?") also hit the right note. The three female leads also happen to be exceptionally attractive women to boot, which both Taylor and Fury seem to fully appreciate.

Overall, it's a comedy without pretense, featuring a glamorous cast, some witty dialogue, epic sets and the usual colourful costumes. A funny take on domestic role reversal that's politically incorrect but unlikely to offend (e.g. the smug looks on the faces of Taylor and Fury after cheap attempts at groping their masters are rebuffed). Incidentally, there's also a great scene in which a portly, balding and bearded slave plays a kissing Casanova to an endless queue of frisky Amazons that shouldn't be missed for pure ham value.

This film is strikingly similar to (and, incredibly, even worse than) Terence Young's THE AMAZONS (1974), which I watched only last month. Rod Taylor, who had just become a star thanks to George Pal's screen version of H.G. Wells' THE TIME MACHINE (1960), unwisely chose to follow it up with this turkey; his performance is embarrassing – especially the lamentable attempts at comedy – and, in fact, comes off like a cut-rate Tony Curtis! Likewise, Ed Fury makes very little impression as the proverbial muscleman (and, presumably, the Colossus of the title – though his character is actually named Glauco, even in the English-dubbed version!).

As for the women, here we have: a rather unattractively made-up Dorian Gray (a regular fixture of Toto' comedies, though she also appeared in one film apiece by Fellini and Antonioni!); Daniela Rocca (best known as the mousy wife Marcello Mastroianni wants to get rid of in Pietro Germi's DIVORCE – Italian STYLE [1961]), whose character is constantly falling flat on her face for no apparent reason!; and Gianna Maria Canale (who appeared in countless sword-and-sandal titles but also starred in the first Italian horror film, I VAMPIRI [1956], co-directed by Riccardo Freda and Mario Bava), who's been saddled with the rather thankless role of the Amazon Queen who must fulfill her destiny by remaining a spinster!

Truly, this has to be one of the worst films ever - which prompted director Bertrand Tavernier, then a film critic, to call it "one of the funniest of Italian comedies"! - which, from the very first shot (in which a trumpeter loses his grip on his instrument!), gives you an idea of the clumsiness you are about to witness – with the inappropriate 'modern' score (including the dance routines that are a cross between Busby Berkeley and WEST SIDE STORY [1961]!) and the hilarious dubbing (particularly during the one scene where Tiberio Murgia, so memorable as Claudia Cardinale's jealous elder brother in BIG DEAL ON MADONNA STREET [1958], appears) featuring prominently among its highlights…er…lowpoints!

This is horrible.

I've seen pretty much every muscle man movie made in the 1950's and 1960's and this is at the bottom of the list.

First off the dubbing is terrible. The cliche of Japanese monster movies are nothing compared to this.

Secondly its suppose to be a comedy. It appears to have been written and acted as one, unfortunately there is nothing funny about it. The problem is that these films run so close to parody as is that its pointless to make fun of them. The only one that ever worked was the original version of My Son The Hero, which was a good movie even without the humor.

Lastly the sets, costumes, ect are overly bad. Again these films run the fine line between reality and parody. Its all of a style that took hold and effectively killed off the genre about five years after this was produced where spandex, beehive hairdos and Max Factor make-up made everything look silly.

The plot, concerning two muscle men and their encounters with the Amazons is stupid and comes from the low sex comedies that rarely traveled outside of Italy because they were more juvenile than funny.

Its over acted and under done.

One out of ten. Its just bad.

The music score, which ranges from boogie-woogie to a sort of sleazy Vegas romance music, cues you in right away that this is not a movie to be taken seriously. Rod Taylor (as a sort of low-life grifter) and Ed Fury (his muscle-man pal) find themselves prisoners of a tribe of man hungry amazons. Gender bending comedy abounds (male prisoners who've grown accustomed to their fate exchange recipes and complain about not getting their laundry "sparkling", all with swishy mannerisms and camp voices --- very un-PC and funny as hell) along with low-brow slapstick. Viewers tuning in to a movie entitled COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN expecting thoughtful, serious drama will of course be disappointed. Those with more realistic expectations may find this a delight.

Actress Thea Fleming can be seen as one of the dancing girls in the big production number in the temple. She is hard to spot in the actual movie but she is very prominent in one of the stills in my collection. Larry Anderson