Elvis Presley credited as playing...
Toby Kwimper
- Nick: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...
- Toby Kwimper: You do the multiplication tables too, Nick?
- Nick: [Nick rolls his eyes at Toby] Three, two, one.
- [Nick's trailer explodes]
- Toby Kwimper: Well, I'll be doggone. Your place done blowed up, Nick. It's on fire too.
- Nick: What happened?
- Toby Kwimper: They were showing me how I shouldn't get hurt. I wish they would wake up so I could apologize. I don't think they can hear me now.
- Nick: No, I don't think so either.
- Toby Kwimper: I use my education agin 'em.
- Holly Jones: Your education?
- Toby Kwimper: Multiplication tables. Anytime some pretty gal is standing around bothering me I just close my eyes and I say, one times one is one, and one times two is two and right on through the eights. Most times I only have to get to the sixes and they get disgusted and go away.
- Holly Jones: I can imagine.
- Toby Kwimper: Of course it don't do much good if they hang on through the eights 'cause I forget the nineses. That's what happened that night behind the bowling alley with Gertrude. I forgot the nineses.
- Toby Kwimper: It's just like Pop said, women are natural nesters. Just look at the way you took to nesting right here. Cooking dinner and everything, starting from scratch.
- Holly Jones: Well, I would dearly love to know what's so awful about nesting? It's just being married and having a house.
- Toby Kwimper: Well, nothing. Except doing it when you don't want to. I think a man ought to be allowed to wait till he wants to. Women don't aim to let you wait.
- George: [referring to Holly] Now, this is Mrs. Kwimper?
- Toby Kwimper: Oh, no, Sir. She just lives with me.
- George: Oh! Well, I didn't mean to pry.
- George: This land that you're living on, well, is it mortgaged?
- Toby Kwimper: I don't know, Sir. We don't own it. We're homesteading.
- George: Well, we can't very well lend you money on property you don't own yet.
- Toby Kwimper: Well, we own our john.
- George: I didn't quite catch that.
- Toby Kwimper: Our john, and I guess we own the house that we built for it, too.
- Alisha Claypoole: [giving a word association test] Steal.
- Toby Kwimper: Home.
- Alisha Claypoole: Oh, you poor boy. You think somebody's trying to steal your home.
- Toby Kwimper: Willie Mays stole home.
- Alisha Claypoole: Who's Willie May?
- Toby Kwimper: Not May, Mays. He's a baseball player.
- Toby Kwimper: I sure hope I didn't say nothing wrong or they'll use it against us as sure as baby rabbits.
- Jack: Louie? I thought I told you to spread out!
- Toby Kwimper: Uhh...
- Jack: Never mind. Stay close. I'm a better shot than you any way. Here take the flashlight.
- Toby Kwimper: [Toby grabs the flashlight and gun] You know, drunks ought not to be carrying guns.
- Jack: [turns and runs from Toby] Hey, Louie! Pete!
- Holly Jones: I wonder where the road goes.
- Toby Kwimper: It's hard to tell, just from looking at one end.
- Holly Jones: What did I say that was so funny?
- Toby Kwimper: Oh, nothing. I was just remembering, after your folks died, when Pop took you in. What a skinny, scrawny little thing you were. All eyes and elbows.
- Toby Kwimper: [singing] Don't kiss me, don't claw me, Don't pet me, don't paw me, I won't leave my freedom behind...
- Toby Kwimper: You're just as happy as a house cat, ain't you?
- Holly Jones: Women like doing things for other people. Don't men ever feel like that?
- Toby Kwimper: You know anything about sex, Holly?
- Holly Jones: Of course I do.
- Toby Kwimper: Who told you?
- Holly Jones: I don't remember. Never you mind.
- Toby Kwimper: That King fellow is gonna make an awful lot of trouble.
- Pop Kwimper: I'll break him off like a dry twig.
- Toby Kwimper: Well, maybe so, maybe not.
- Pop Kwimper: No maybe about it.
- Toby Kwimper: Get all the shopping done?
- Pop Kwimper: I think so.
- Holly Jones: Did you have enough money for everything?
- Pop Kwimper: Yep, and a couple of luxury items, too. I went to a junkyard and I bought us a john.
- Holly Jones: [admiringly] Ohhh.
- Pop Kwimper: Ain't it a lover?
- Toby Kwimper: It sure is, Pop.
- Holly Jones: Now, go on.
- Toby Kwimper: Hey, ain't you coming with me?
- Holly Jones: No, I can't go in. I'm not dressed.
- Toby Kwimper: You don't look no crummier than I do.
- Holly Jones: Well, now it's different for a man.