- Larry: I wonder where we are.
- Schuyler Davis: Maybe the sign will tell us.
- [the sign is written entirely in Greek letters. Curly-Joe and Larry try to sound it out]
- Larry: [laughs] You know, I...
- Moe: I'll smash the first guy who says it's all Greek to me.
- Larry: [waves a thumb at Curly-Joe] Well, it's all Greek to him.
- Schuyler Davis: You know, these old Greek things certainly have lovely curves, haven't they?
- Moe: These young Greek things ain't bad, either!
- Ulysses: It is not the housemen sire, but the powerful oarsmen on the starboard side. All the rest of my slaves combined cannot hold the ship steady.
- Moe: You guys better clean this place up. if the boss sees this mess he will kill you and if he dont i will.
- [Larry opens the door to Schuyler's place. Curly Joe enters with some fireworks]
- Larry: Oh, takeoff power!
- Curly Joe: Yeah, these rockets outta blast Schuyler back clear into the days of old "Nebacibizter."
- Moe: Hey, "King Cibitzier", you wanna blow the place up? *Put those down!*
- Curly Joe: [putting the fireworks on the floor] Put 'em down, put 'em down.
- [the Stooges are attempting to free Ulysses from his cell. Curly Joe is shown hammering a bar. Unbeknownst to them, the bar has gone through the ceiling to the floor above, right underneath the table that Hercules is sitting at]
- Larry: What's the matter?
- Curly Joe: I'm encountering a, uh, I... un, it won't, uh... it's stuck.
- Larry: [Getting underneath the bar] Oh, what a minute.
- Curly Joe: I can't help it.
- [Hercules can be shown reaching for his fruit, only to see that the bowl has been elevated by the bar]
- Larry: Looks pretty good to me!
- [Hercules bushes the bowl down, which in turn, pushes the bar back down. The bar can be seen hitting Larry in his left eye]
- Moe: You had to stick your nose in the way, eh?
- [as the film begins, a map of Ancient Greece can be shown. It's here that a voice can he heard narrating]
- Narrator: Our story of Hercules, properly begins in Ithaca. But, not this one...
- [as the narrator continues, the camera fades to a map of New York state]
- Narrator: ... This one. In the state, of New York.
- [in the dungeons, Moe, Larry, and Curly Joe can be seen approaching Ulysses' cell with a set of tools. Curly Joe drops them, which prompts Moe and Larry signal to him to be quiet. Once everything's settled, Moe looks at Ulysses]
- Moe: Relax, Ulysses, we'll have you out here in two shakes.
- Ulysses: But I thought you were close to Odius.
- Curly Joe: How long can you stay close to a skunk?
- [at the place, the Stooges and Schuyler can be seen speaking with one another as they witness Ulysses being brought before Odius]
- Schuyler Davis: What have we done?
- Larry: What do you mean?
- Schuyler Davis: Why, history tells us Ulysses was a great man. A wise and just ruler.
- Curly Joe: You mean we goofed?
- [Schuyler looks at Curly Joe and nods]
- Moe: We helped the wrong army, we put a skunk on the throne of Ithaca.
- [Schulyer and the Stooges can be seen observing Odius' behavior towards Diane]
- Moe: That Odius fellow, he looks like somebody we know.
- Curly Joe: He acts like someone we know, too.
- [Larry can be seen thinking about something. Seconds later, he grabs Moe's arm and points]
- Larry: I got it! Dimsal!
- [Moe and Curly Joe both smile in agreement]
- Schuyler Davis: But, this is three-thousand years before Dimsal we even born.
- Moe: Maybe so. But if he turns out to be a heel as well as a wolf, this could be the start of the Dimsal Family.
- [Ralph Dimsal and Diane can be seen entering the former's drugstore. Upon entering, they are aghast to see a mess that was caused by Larry's soda machine malfunction. Before long, Dimsal looks up and sees Schulyer standing before them. With that, he walks to him with a smirk on his face, ignoring the Stooges in the process. Curly Joe has a mop in hand]
- Ralph Dimsal: [with increasing rage] Davis, I warned you what would happen if that cockeyed invention of yours damaged any of my merchandise! Now, you're gonna pay for this! Every bit of it! *Do you understand?*
- Moe: [approaches Dimsal] It was our fault.
- Curly Joe: Yeah, the machine went haywire...
- Ralph Dimsal: [shouting] *SHUT UP!*
- [Dimsal grabs Curly Joe's mop and shoves it towards Schuyler]
- Ralph Dimsal: I said *he* did it! And he's gonna clean it up! Now, get going! And after you've finished, clean up this soda fountain!
- [Dimsal looks at the Stooges]
- Ralph Dimsal: You! Come on! Get going! Get out of here! Get in the stockroom! Get some more china!
- [the Stooges hurry off as Dimsal continues to survey the mess in the store]
- Schuyler Davis: [softly] But... Mr. Dimsal... I...
- [Dimsal grabs Schuyler by the collar of his shirt and lifts him]
- Ralph Dimsal: *You want to make something of it, Davis?* Put up your dukes!
- [Dimsal laughs smugly as he lets go of Schulyer and shoves him against the counter. He then looks at Diane before taking a last look at Schyuler and giving a smug grin before he walks off]
- [in Dimsal's drugstore, Moe can be seen approaching Schuyler after the latter has finished speaking with Diane. Schuyler has a mop in hand]
- Moe: I heard what she said. You'd better get going, we'll clean the place up.
- Schuyler Davis: [nervous] Oh, but, but, Dimsal...
- Moe: [takes the mop] Oh, go on, go on, go on, go on.
- Schuyler Davis: Gee, thanks guys, I do have to pick up a deflection attenuator.
- Moe: I know we can't do without one of those.
- [in Dimsal's drugstore, the Stooges are alarmed by an apparent earthquake]
- Larry: Earthquake! Earthquake!
- Moe: No, no, no, it's only Schuyler, next door.
- Curly Joe: Yeah, fooling around with his invention again.
- Moe: I'd better get over there before he wrecks the whole store. Inventor!
- Curly Joe: We'll clean up while you're gone.
- [Moe exits the store]
- [Moe can be seen entering Schuyler's apartment, the latter who is working on his invention. Before long, Schuyler looks up and sees Moe]
- Schuyler Davis: Oh, hello, Moe.
- Moe: Hi-a, Schuyler, everything under control now?
- Schuyler Davis: Oh, yes. I hope my little explosions didn't upset you.
- Moe: They don't upset me, but what they're doing to Dimsal's drugstore is something else again.
- [the Stooges, along with Diane and Schuyler have been flying on the time machine for awhile. At some point, they look below them to see something taking place]
- Diane Quigley: We're going down.
- [Moe takes a closer look at the action below them]
- Moe: [alarmed] Right in the middle of a war!
- [the Stooges, along with Schuyler and Diane can be seen descending on the time machine in the midst of battle in Ancient Greece. Curly Joe can be seen observing the scene below them while Schuyler attempts to adjust the controls]
- Curly Joe: Schuyler, we don't want to land in that mess!
- [Schuyler continues to get control of the time machine]
- Schuyler Davis: I can't seem to control it.
- [on the slave ship, the Stooges and Schuyler can be seen rowing. At some point, Curly Joe looks at Moe]
- Curly Joe: I guess we made the crew.
- [the crack of a whip can be seen. Nearby, is the slavemaster, Simon, who glares at Curly Joe]
- Simon: You there! You're throwing the rhythm off!
- [Curly Joe innocently looks up at him and shrugs his shoulders]
- Simon: Pull that oar!
- [Curly Joe quickly grabs the oar again]
- [while on the slave ship, Larry notices Schuyler's right muscle has become bigger since he started rowing. With this, Larry then looks up at Moe and Curly Joe]
- Larry: Hey, fellas. Look at Schuyler. His muscles are getting bigger every day.
- Moe: Yeah, on one side.
- [Moe looks at Curly Joe]
- Moe: If he could only build up the left arm to match the right, he could take on both those baboons.
- [the sound of a whip is heard. Moe looks up to see the slave master, Simon glaring at him]
- Simon: *What did you say?*
- Moe: [improvising] I said this galley can go right through two typhoons.
- Simon: Silence! I'll slice you up and feed you to the sharks!
- [Ralph Dimsal can be seen in his drugstore. As he's on the telephone, an earthquake can be seen happening. As a few items fall off of some of the shelves, a few pieces of the ceiling begins to cave in as well. Dimsal hangs up the phone and he realizes that it's most likely the result of Schuyler's time machine]
- Ralph Dimsal: [shouting] I warned that Davis!