Tony Randall credited as playing...
Paul Ferris
- Paul Ferris: Psst... Steve... What does, uh, what does "moon" mean in Greek?
- Steve Blair: [draws a blank] No such word.
- Paul Ferris: We were standing there on the balcony, all I said was "moon," and she slapped a pair of lips on me like an oxygen mask.
- Steve Blair: [surprised] Miranda?
- Paul Ferris: Yeah!
- Steve Blair: You're hysterical! She probably just brushed by you accidentally.
- Paul Ferris: I may be the all-American schnook, but I know the difference between being brushed, and vacuumed.
- Paul Ferris: No, I tell you, it was the same dream. I was sitting in the middle of the railroad tracks, and these two freight trains are coming at me from either side.
- Andy: Kid, you always been so hysterical?
- Paul Ferris: Only for the past 15 years. Before that I was gay and carefree, I was...
- Andy: [cutting him off] Yes, yes, yes... Well, I tell you. Usually booze is the only treatment for that. Only now, I think you need a cure for the treatment.
- Andy: [continues] I tell you what *I* do when I get bugged. I close my eyes, and I try to think of the worst thing that can happen to me. I imagine the whole thing happening. Then - snap - the whole thing is out of my system. Try it. Try it, try it!