- Count Bloodcount: I am a vampire.
- Bugs Bunny: Oh, yeah? Well, abacadabra, I'm an umpire.
- [suddenly is wearing umpire clothes]
- Count Bloodcount: Hocus-pocus, I'm a bat!
- [turns into a bat]
- Bugs Bunny: OK. I'm a bat too! Abacadabra!
- [turns into a baseball bat]
- Count Bloodcount: [putting on glasses] You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?
- [Bat hits vampire]
- Bugs Bunny: Abraca-pocus.
- [Count Bloodcount becomes a bat's head on a vampire's body]
- Bugs Bunny: Hmm, uh... hocus-cadabra.
- [the Count turns into his head with bat wings]
- Bugs Bunny: Newport News!
- [the Count turns into Witch Hazel]
- Bugs Bunny: Wow, I can do better than that. Walla Walla, Washington!
- [the Count as Witch Hazel turns into a male two-headed vulture]
- [Count Bloodcount leads Bugs to a bedroom in the castle]
- Count Bloodcount: This is your room.
- Bugs Bunny: Eh, sure, Doc, but I don't want a room. I just want a telephone.
- Count Bloodcount: [putting Bugs to bed] Rest first; telephone tomorrow. Rest is good for the blood.
- Bugs Bunny: [yawns] Well, I am a little fa-ti-gued.
- Bugs Bunny: [seeing a vampire bat that is really a transformed Count Bloodcount] Golly! What big mosquitoes they do have here.
- [He takes a fly swatter]
- Bugs Bunny: Hold still, you little devil.
- [He swats the bat with the swatter]
- Bugs Bunny: There!
- Bugs Bunny: [seeing a sign reading "Pittsburghe, Transylvania"] These Pennsylvania hardwoods ain't too soft.
- [Bugs arrives at the door of the castle of Count Bloodcount and rings the doorbell. The Count answers the door]
- Bugs Bunny: Sorry to disturb you, sir. I know it's late, but I seem to be off me course.
- Count Bloodcount: No, no, it's never too late. Come in.
- [the Count opens the door and lets Bugs in]
- Bugs Bunny: Yeah, well, you see, I just want to call me travel agency. They've routed me off me route.
- [Bugs again sees Count Bloodcount as a bat, but thinks it's a different bat]
- Bugs Bunny: Another one? They oughta screen this place.
- [He takes a sprayer and sprays the bat with it]