- Desmond Simpkins: Oh, Vienna! Lovely! I've always wanted to see Vienna before I die.
- The Chief: With a bit of luck, you'll do both.
- [Daphne Honeybutt and Charlie Bind arrive at the villains' secret lair]
- Daphne Honeybutt: It must be their headquarters!
- [Charlie Bind ogles a female technician who is bent over some equipment]
- Charlie Bind: Looks more like their hindquarters.
- Doctor Crow: I am Doctor Crow. You are surprised?
- Daphne Honeybutt: Yes, I am! I expected you to be a man... or a woman.
- [Harold Crump approaches Carstairs, in disguise as the filter tip bootlace salesman]
- Harold Crump: I cannot smoke those, they make me deaf!
- [Simpkins demonstrates how to draw his gun from a holster inside his jacket]
- Desmond Simpkins: All ready to get off a slick draw like that.
- Daphne Honeybutt: Oh, Mr. Simpkins, that was wonderful. I'm sure I'll never get *my* drawers off as slickly as that.
- Desmond Simpkins: [admiring himself in the mirror in his Algerian disguise, complete with fez] Oooh, yes, very cosmopolitan.
- Charlie Bind: [in proudly introducing himself to Simkins] Agent Bind.
- Desmond Simpkins: [intrigued] James?
- Charlie Bind: No, Charlie.
- Desmond Simpkins: Number?
- Charlie Bind: Double oh... oh.
- Desmond Simpkins: Oh what?
- Charlie Bind: I have no idea. They looked at me and they said, "Oh, oh... oooooh!"
- Desmond Simpkins: I see what you mean!
- Charlie Bind: Someone just tried to shoot me
- Desmond Simpkins: Where?
- Charlie Bind: In the Schnitzelstrasse