"The Empty Canvas" is based on an Italian novel titled "Boredom," which is a stroke of marketing genius - why waste time with false advertising? Our protagonist, Dino (Horst Buchholz), epitomizes first-world problems: a wealthy, healthy young man plagued by existential ennui. Instead of doing something productive, like appreciating life's many gifts, Dino spends his time pretending to paint in a studio generously funded by his ever-indulgent mother. Who wouldn't want to root for a spoiled rich kid with nothing better to do than wallow in self-inflicted misery?
Feeling understandably fed up with his "demanding" life of leisure, Dino ogles a girl visiting his neighbor (because that's what rich existentialists do) and decides it's time to visit his mother, played by Bette Davis in a role that can only be described as "unconvincing." He asks to move back to the family's grand villa, where the saucy chambermaid Rita immediately starts a not-at-all-subtle campaign to seduce him. Because nothing screams high art like a bit of casual groping in front of Mom.
As the film progresses, it becomes clear that we've veered into the cinematic equivalent of a bad joke told in a bordello. Dino learns that his neighbor died while having sex with Cecilia, the girl he had previously ogled - a development that's both tasteless and, unsurprisingly, irresistible to our hero. He promptly tracks down Cecilia, portrayed by Catherine Spaak, who once again graces us with her signature role: the precocious, highly sexualized kitten, an archetype that made her a darling of 1960s Italian cinema.
Naturally, because this story is penned by a man, Dino's mother is the predictable castrating figure, while Cecilia serves as the convenient sex object who can hop from one man to another without so much as a blink. The depth of character development here is truly staggering.
Unfortunately, watching a rich, bored man engage in increasingly tedious bouts of sex while trying to pay off his obsession isn't exactly the thrill ride one might hope for. And the so-called "dramatic" denouement? Let's just say it doesn't make up for the time you'll never get back from watching this cinematic gem.
