- Elizabeth Lipp: Do you mind that I am a nymphomaniac?
- Walter Harper: It's your most endearing quality.
- Elizabeth Lipp: Don't waste it - use it.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: What made you suspect they are Russian spies?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: I deduced it, sir.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: From what?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: From the cook, sir.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: What did the cook say?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: That they were Russian spies.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: A clever deduction.
- [Simpson is talking to the Turkish guards who have arrested him]
- Arthur Simon Simpson: You frighten me, sir. But, after all, that's part of your job. But if my father could hear you now he'd laugh himself sick. He wasn't no colonel, sir. I just said that in order to make myself seem important. He was a sergeant - acting sergeant - acting unpaid sergeant. And d'you know what he used to say to me? He used to say, "Arthur"... he used to call me Arthur... "Arthur, you're a carbuncle on the behind of humanity." Carbuncle! I'm a nothing! I'm a nobody!
- Maj. Ali Tufan: What has Miss Lipp to say? Did you hear her talk to anyone?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: Yes, I heard her speak to Mr. Harper.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: What did she say?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: Personal things, you know, I don't think they'd be of any interest to you.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: *Everything* she says is of interest to me.
- Arthur Simon Simpson: Well, she said I was attractive to her.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: Fool! She knew you were listening!
- Arthur Simon Simpson: That's impossible.
- Maj. Ali Tufan: Then why would she say anything so stupid!
- Arthur Simon Simpson: Well, she did! She even went further. She said I had beautiful eye lashes!
- Turkish Official: [advising Major Tufan of Simpson's criminal record] In 1958 he was deported from Britain for smuggling pornographic literature.
- Arthur Simon Simpson: An art magazine, sir!
- Turkish Official: Called...?
- Arthur Simon Simpson: 'Stop Press Nudes'!
- [first lines]
- Elizabeth Lipp: It can be done! That's the way it can be done! Aaah... oh, excuse me; I've just had a great idea - something I've been looking for a long time... a very long time.
- Walter Harper: Giulio's on the sill now. I'll help you lower him down.
- Arthur Simon Simpson: Can't he do anything by himself?