Charlton Heston credited as playing...
Major Amos Charles Dundee
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Name?
- Rev. Dahlstrom: Dahlstrom. Any man who has a just cause should travel with the word of God.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: With all due respect, God has nothing to do with it. I intend to smite the wicked, not save the Heathen.
- Rev. Dahlstrom: Seventeen years ago I married John and Mary Rostes. Those who destroyeth my flock, shall so be destroyed.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [smiles] Reverend.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: I have only three commands. When I signal you to come, you come. When I signal you to charge, you charge. And when I signal you to run - you follow me and run like *hell*!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: By midnight tonight I want every man in this command drunker than a fiddler's bitch.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: How many men do you need?
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Twenty. Good ones.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Until the Apache is taken or destroyed - only that?
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Agreed.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: If it's... too rich for you... hang us now, and be done with it.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: I might just hang you and that Injun from the same tree, Ben.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You'll play hell getting it done, Amos!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Sam...
- Samuel Potts: Yeah?
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Don't get yourself killed... That would inconvenience me.
- Tim Ryan: [observing the body of Sierra Charriba] He looks so small, now.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: He was big enough, son.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Don't you ever have any doubts about who you are?
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: I've been three men already, Amos. That's enough for one lifetime.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Irish immigrant...
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Cashiered American officer.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: And Confederate renegade. I don't like any of 'em.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Well, now, isn't that a coincidence.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: You surveyed this whole area with Grant in '47, didn't you?
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Yes, the tequila was excellent.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Captain Tyreen, is the prospect of serving under your country's flag once again seem more attractive than dragging its chains in this prison?
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: It is not my country, Major Dundee. I damn its flag and I damn you! And I would rather *hang* - than serve!
- [the Confederate prisoners begin whistling "Dixie" and rattling their chains, creating a loud racket]
- Sgt. Gomez: [to Dundee] Corporal Veitch just died, sir.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [shouts] Then hang you will!
- [noise dies down]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: You and your four good friends, you're going to stand trial on a charge of murder. That guard you clubbed just died.
- [Major Dundee and his staff find Lieutenant Bannon tortured over a slow fire]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: I hope he was dead when they did that to him.
- Sgt. Gomez: If he was dead, they wouldn't have bothered.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: You thieves, renegades, deserters, you gentlemen of the South. I want some volunteers. I want volunteers to fight the Apache Sierra Charriba. I need horse soldiers - men who can ride, men who can shoot. In return, I promise you nothing... saddle sores, short rations, maybe a bullet in your belly... and free air to breathe, fair share of tobacco, quarter pay... and my good will and best offices for pardons and paroles when I get back.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: What are you trying to say, Frank? Come on, speak up. Spit it out.
- Capt. Frank Waller: I'm not trying to say the massacre was your fault. I am trying to say that you should recognize your transfer to this post was a disciplinary action, pure and simple... and if you try to fight your own war again - like you did at Gettysburg - they'll break you.
- Sgt. Gomez: Benjamin Priam, sir.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: What do you do, Mr. Priam?
- Benjamin Priam: [mumbles unintelligibly]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: What did you say?
- Benjamin Priam: [mumbles]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Speak up! I can't hear you!
- Benjamin Priam: [screaming] I'm a horse thief!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [smirks] Are you a *good* horse thief?
- Benjamin Priam: Yes, sir. The best there *is*, sir!
- Wiley: If you're lookin' for hard-ridin', Injun-fightin' whiskey drinkin' mulepackers, then by *God* you've got one!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: What in the hell am I supposed to do with you?
- Sgt. Gomez: He's the biggest drunk, but the best mule packer in the Territory, sir.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: What's your name?
- Wiley: Wiley.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: All right, Wiley. Make your mark.
- Wiley: Whiskey?
- Maj. Amos Dundee: All you can drink...
- [Wiley signs the contract]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: ...when you've earned it. Sergeant, take him to a cell and dry him out.
- [Sergeant Gomez escorts Wiley out of the room]
- Wiley: Well! I ain't never seen anything like this before!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: If I ever do get out of here, the war won't last forever.
- Teresa Santiago: It will for you, Major.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: I drink, Ben. Did you know that? That is the secret of my great success. I drink.
- [looks at an unattractive smiling young woman]
- Maj. Amos Dundee: But, I don't drink enough.
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: Major, I shall see you in Texas!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: You're damn right you will! Bugler!
- Capt. Benjamin Tyreen: You are either - a $70, red-wool, pure-quill military genius - or the biggest damn fool in northern Mexico.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: No question of it.
- Sgt. Gomez: [as the survivor's command emerges from the river] All present and accounted for, sir.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Lieutenant Graham.
- Lt. Graham: Yes, sir?
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Column of twos.
- Lt. Graham: Column of twos!
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [to Ryan] Play us a tune, son.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [after the Apache ambush] How did they know?
- Samuel Potts: They're Apache.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: [on Riago] And just what in hell is he?
- Riago: I am tame Apache. A camp dog. Christian Indian. Charriba, is Apache.
- Maj. Amos Dundee: Sam, you take this "camp dog" and go find me Charriba.
- Samuel Potts: That's what you pay us for, Amos.