- Sergeant-Major McGregor: Mac The Knife, is it?
- Staff Sergeant Mansfield: Bonnie Prince Charlie, I presume?
- [the young husband comes home to find his wife, in her underclothes, with Lieutenant Morton]
- Young Husband: You've been at it again?
- Young Wife: No, I've not.
- [Lieutenant Morton has just arrived at Northdene US Air Force base after a weekend with Annabelle. He is wearing a morning suit: top hat, tails and a carnation in his buttonhole]
- Major Foskett: [to Morton] The first thing I suggest is that you get out of those utterly ridiculous clothes! Better naked than overdressed!
- [cut to shot of Sergeant-Major McGregor in Scottish Highlanders uniform, consisting of kilt, sporran and bearskin hat]
- Husband: Hello, police? I've got a mad Scotsman in my flat. He's wearing a moustache and a blue towel.
- Major Foskett: [to the gate guard at the Northdene U.S. Air Force Station] I am a major. You are a sergeant. Majors give orders. Sergeants obey them. Lift that pole.
- U.S. Air Force Soldier at Checkpoint: But I'm not even in your Army, sir.
- Major Foskett: That's not my fault.
- [Annabelle Nash has left her car parked half way round a junction of two roads]
- Sergeant-Major McGregor: Listen, you're not going to leave the car like that, are you?
- Annabelle Nash: Oh, it doesn't mind.
- [Lieutenant Morton taps the desk bell repeatedly in Tweedles gentlemen's club]
- Parkins: That is not a musical instrument, sir.
- Lieutenant Tim Morton: Well, it's there to be rung, isn't it?
- Parkins: To be rung, yes. But not to play tunes on.