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IMDbPro

Don't Go Near the Water

  • 1957
  • Approved
  • 1h 47m
IMDb RATING
6.1/10
898
YOUR RATING
Don't Go Near the Water (1957)
On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line Sea Duty.
Play trailer3:01
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22 Photos
AdventureComedyRomanceWar

On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line sea duty.On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line sea duty.On a small South Pacific island during WW2, various US Navy P.R. personnel pass the time romancing the nurses and the native girls while trying to avoid front line sea duty.

  • Director
    • Charles Walters
  • Writers
    • Dorothy Kingsley
    • George Wells
    • William Brinkley
  • Stars
    • Glenn Ford
    • Gia Scala
    • Earl Holliman
  • See production info at IMDbPro
  • IMDb RATING
    6.1/10
    898
    YOUR RATING
    • Director
      • Charles Walters
    • Writers
      • Dorothy Kingsley
      • George Wells
      • William Brinkley
    • Stars
      • Glenn Ford
      • Gia Scala
      • Earl Holliman
    • 12User reviews
    • 2Critic reviews
  • See production info at IMDbPro
    • Awards
      • 1 win & 6 nominations total

    Videos1

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    Photos22

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    Top cast51

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    Glenn Ford
    Glenn Ford
    • Lt. J.G. Max Siegel
    Gia Scala
    Gia Scala
    • Melora Alba
    Earl Holliman
    Earl Holliman
    • Adam Garrett
    Anne Francis
    Anne Francis
    • Lt. Alice Tomlen
    Keenan Wynn
    Keenan Wynn
    • Gordon Ripwell
    Fred Clark
    Fred Clark
    • Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash
    Eva Gabor
    Eva Gabor
    • Deborah Aldrich
    Russ Tamblyn
    Russ Tamblyn
    • Ens. Tyson
    Jeff Richards
    Jeff Richards
    • Lt. Ross Pendleton
    Mickey Shaughnessy
    Mickey Shaughnessy
    • Farragut Jones
    Howard Smith
    Howard Smith
    • Adm. Junius Boatwright
    Romney Brent
    Romney Brent
    • Mr. Alba - Melora's Father
    Mary Wickes
    Mary Wickes
    • Janie
    Jack Straw
    • Lt. Cmdr. Gladstone
    Robert Nichols
    Robert Nichols
    • Lt. Cmdr. Hereford
    John Alderson
    John Alderson
    • Lt. Cmdr. Diplock
    Jack Albertson
    Jack Albertson
    • Rep. George Jansen
    Charles Watts
    Charles Watts
    • Rep. Arthur Smithfield
    • Director
      • Charles Walters
    • Writers
      • Dorothy Kingsley
      • George Wells
      • William Brinkley
    • All cast & crew
    • Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

    User reviews12

    6.1898
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    Featured reviews

    6SimonJack

    Light comedy and romance behind the lines in the WW II South Pacific

    Glenn Ford made a few comedies with WW 2 settings - during or after the war. None of these were laugh fests, or hilarious films like "McHale's Navy", or satires like the great "Dr. Strangelove." Of course, anything about the military during wartime that's funny might be looked at as satire by some. But, movies like "Buck Privates" of 1941, with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were sheer comedy. Besides the madness and mayhem of such films, they no doubt helped to lighten the worries of families who had loved ones serving during World War II.

    So, after the seriousness and horrors of war had abated in the post-war years, writers, producers, and others who had served began to muse about some of the things that happened that may have been comical, and some fictional things they might have liked to have happen. Or, they may have suspected were happening in the rear echelons, where brass and shysters were removed from the reality of war. That's what we have, it seems, in this film. "Don't Go Near the water" is adapted from a 1956 novel of the same title by William Brinkley. Brinkley was a naval officer who served in Europe and the Pacific. One might easily guess his field - public relations, and his book may have been more fact than fiction as a comedy.

    Well, this was the first of a number of light comedy wartime or military comedies that Glen Ford made, and it's success led to more and a solid career. This has some romance, finger-poking, and light comedy that seemed right for audiences in the late 1950s and early 1960s. That's when people could use a break from the headlines and news about the latest threats in the Cold War.

    Ford and the rest of the company here do a good enough job for a film that doesn't have much of a plot. Fred Clark and Keenan Wynn provide a few chuckles. And, Anne Francis, Eva Gabor and Gia Scala provide the non-military distractions for sailors who are otherwise alone on a South Sea island in wartime.

    It's a light, feel-good comedy romance of the period that, but for the military situation, would clearly fit the description of fluff today. It was a big hit at the box office, finishing in the top 25 U. S. films for the year. I was a teenager at the time and did enjoy films like this - much more than I find them to be very interesting or good in my golden years of maturity - or aged childhood, as the case may be. This is the least funny and entertaining of the batch of these films that Glenn Ford made.
    7SnoopyStyle

    Hot and Cold

    Lt. J. G. Max Siegel (Glenn Ford) works under Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash (Fred Clark) in a Navy PR office on a South Pacific island far from the war. New local teacher Melora Alba (Gia Scala) attracts the attention of every men.

    Scala is an absolute beauty with the slightest of exotic flavor although nowhere near a South Pacific islander. I understand everyman's need to fall head over heels for her. The romance needs to be written better. The romance between Garrett and the nurse is far more compelling and they spend more time on it. There is some fine slapstick with some nice stunts in the clueless construction scene. Glenn Ford is a little too cool for school. The others are throwing their bodies around. The one big laugh is Farragut Jones. That's a great way to do that during this era. It doesn't get much funnier than Hot and Cold. Glenn Ford does a good straight man opposite all that. It's a good light comedy. They should have made this movie all about Glenn Ford dealing with Farragut Jones.
    8artbreyfogle

    In That Era It Worked

    Ford does his good comedic acting as this humorous tale moves forward behind the enemy lines...Navy PR types are out of war action but lots of old style hijinks happen in all three acts...Fred Clark is excellent as the bumbling CO...Two love interest stories plus funny slapstick give this MGM effort a roadmap to laughter success...And hats off to Shaughnessy as the cursin' sailor with heaps of tats...A good view...
    5wes-connors

    Episodic Island Comedy

    On a picturesque South Pacific island, during World War II, a US Navy base handles public relations. Unmarried star lieutenant Glenn Ford (as Max Siegel) takes visiting congressmen on a tour. Beautiful native schoolteacher Gia Scala (as Melora Alba) catches his eye. Enlisted sailor Earl Holliman (as Adam Garrett) likes the way pretty perfumed Anne Francis (as Alice Tomlen) "crosses her legs." Laidback young Russ Tamblyn (as Tyson) doesn't like washing teen-spirited sheets for war reporter Keenan Wynn (as Gordon Ripwell). Comic commander Fred Clark (as Clinton "Marblehead" Nash) is in charge. If you stick around, you'll see head-turning Eva Gabor (as Deborah "Debbie" Aldrich and foul-mouthed Mickey Shaughnessy (as Farragut Jones)...

    The all-star cast is likable. However, the juvenile romances, snickering innuendo and silly slapstick don't mix well. Best part is a very funny episode involving Mr. Shaughnessy reputedly using what is politely called "The F-word," but you have to wade through much tediousness to get there. The title "Don't Go Near the Water" refers to the fact that the characters play on dry land – well, until we see Ms. Gabor's lacy black underwear. This was based on a novel, which suggests there might have been a more interesting story somewhere. Although Glenn Ford was then too big a movie star to do it, this would have made a fine half-hour situation comedy starring Mr. Ford, Mr. Clark and Mr. Tamblyn, who provide a solid anchor and cover their demographics.

    ***** Don't Go Near the Water (11/14/57) Charles Walters ~ Glenn Ford, Fred Clark, Russ Tamblyn, Earl Holliman
    7bkoganbing

    Those Under Appreciated Navy Ad Men

    Don't Go Near The Water is a film about those under-appreciated men of the second World War, those who served way in the rear echelon in the Navy's publicity department. They too, sacrificed and served their country in most unusual ways.

    Hero of this piece and perfectly cast because of his gift for dead pan comedy timing is Glenn Ford, playing a Mister Roberts like officer assigned to the unit headed by Fred Clark. Actually Ford's a Roberts in reverse, he's already had his sea duty and now is assigned to this backwater of the war. He and Russ Tamblyn would like to get into action because it is in combat that promotions can be quickly earned. Not to mention they'd like to serve their country.

    Now Clark's perfectly content where he is. He was a former advertising man in civilian life, so the Navy publicity unit is a perfect fit for him. He's even got far more leverage in 'disciplining' the men under his command. But he can be played and Ford does so like a piccolo.

    Don't Go Near The Water has no real plot except for Ford's yeoman Earl Holliman falling for one of the Navy nurses, Anne Francis, and stealing her away from wolfish officer Jeff Richards. That's a romance that Ford's helping in every way he can despite those no fraternization policies between enlisted men and officers.

    The film is a series of comic vignettes as the unit tries to deal with several non-military and military situations like a hero sailor played by Mickey Shaughnessy who can't control his language. I found that extremely true to life because back in those brief days when I was a weekend warrior, I remember those Anglo-Saxon expletives coming out just as frequently as they do from Shaughnessy. Still it won't do to have him on a bond tour with that coming out of him all the time, so Ford has the unenviable duty of cleaning his act up.

    Ford's also taking time to romance island school teacher Gia Scala and he enlists her help in blackmailing an obnoxious war correspondent to help with building a new school house with the money he flashes around from his publisher. The correspondent is Keenan Wynn who thinks that Ensign Russ Tamblyn is his personal valet. No wonder Tamblyn wants to get to active duty.

    And then there's the glamorous Eva Gabor who is a female correspondent who's been assigned to a forward area to cover the impending battle for Okinawa. As if Admiral Howard Smith hasn't enough troubles. He already has a low opinion of Clark and his outfit as a bunch of goldbrickers.

    All in all it's a pretty funny service comedy and holds up well after over 50 years.

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    Storyline

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    Did you know

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    • Trivia
      Though it has been common in recent years for films or cable programs featuring graphic language to have words bleeped out when they are shown on a regular broadcast channel or on a more censorious family values network, this was one of the first times where, as a gag in a theatrical release, some of Mickey Shaughnessy's supposedly rough words were indicated by comic bleeps on the soundtrack. In the novel the character's language was also so blue that it was bleeped out on the written page.
    • Goofs
      Ship's bells in the Navy ring every 30 minutes. The duration between the ringing of two and three bells during the staff meeting is four minutes in a scene that plays out in real time without a break.
    • Quotes

      Lt. Ross Pendleton: [describing the running of the grunion] During this time of the year the slippery little creatures come up on the beach, stop, spawn, then go out to sea again.

      Lt. Alice Tomlen: Sounds like some naval officers I know.

    • Connections
      Referenced in What's My Line?: Eva Gabor (2) (1957)
    • Soundtracks
      Don't Go Near The Water
      Music by Bronislau Kaper

      Lyrics by Sammy Cahn

      Sung by The Lancers

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    Details

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    • Release date
      • December 1957 (United States)
    • Country of origin
      • United States
    • Language
      • English
    • Also known as
      • Geh nicht zu nah ans Wasser
    • Filming locations
      • Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios - 10202 W. Washington Blvd., Culver City, California, USA
    • Production company
      • Avon Productions (II)
    • See more company credits at IMDbPro

    Box office

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    • Budget
      • $2,495,000 (estimated)
    See detailed box office info on IMDbPro

    Tech specs

    Edit
    • Runtime
      1 hour 47 minutes
    • Aspect ratio
      • 2.35 : 1

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