George Tobias credited as playing...
Vassili Markovitch
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: I want to look somebody up. Does this office have a copy of Who's Still Who?
- Vera: Darling, I have looked it up. Comrade Yoschenko is a woman.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: That's your opinion.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Well, the Comrade Minister said, but, he didn't tell me - I'm not so sure if for this job a woman, well, physically a woman is not equipped...
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: When the Minister sent me here, he did not say it was for a discussion of biology.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: I am the new commissar of art. My name is Markovitch. Any questions?
- Choreographer: Comrade commissar...
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: I will ask the questions. What are they doing?
- Choreographer: Peter Boroff's tone poem, "Ode to a Tractor."
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Peter Boroff? Do you not know that the great Peter Boroff may not come back from Paris, and if he does not, he no longer has any talent?
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: [On telephone] What? But comrade minister, how can I be in trouble already - I just sat down? The Boroff matter? I wasn't the one who sent those three idiots after Boroff, so why is it my fault? Oh, that is true, there is no one else.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Let us get down to business. You are familiar with Peter Ilyitch Boroff's music? You are a music lover?
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: Music is essential for parades.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Of course.
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: It seems to me that seduction can only take place when one is willing.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Yeeesss. I can see that you would think that. Have you ever been to Paris?
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: No! I have never been outside the Soviet Union.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Welllll, heh, heh, I have spent many years in Paris. I got very close to the French people. In fact, they deported me three times.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: A couple of months ago some idiot let Boroff get to Paris and naturally he wants to stay there.
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: What do you mean: naturally?
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: I have made it. Finally I am commissar.
- Vera: Now you can make me, prima ballerina.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Oh, patience, little one.
- Vera: But you promised me! As soon as you would become commissar, you would make me, prima ballerina. Throw out this horrible Kranivoska.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: Patience. Kranivoska has power.
- Vera: She has nothing. She is fat and ugly and she cannot dance.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: I know. But, she is my wife.
- Vassili Markovitch, Commisar of Art: But - you are a woman.
- Ninotchka Yoschenko: The commissar has good powers of observation.