Joan Collins: Alice Chicoy

The Wayward Bus

Alice Chicoy

Alice Chicoy: You're too good lookin' to be off by yourself without me.
Johnny Chicoy: Just remember, nothing ever happens on a 50-mile bus ride to be jealous of. Miss me?
Alice Chicoy: Yes. I married you to be with you. Because I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I still can't, Johnny. I'd die if you ever walked out on me.
Johnny Chicoy: Matter of fact, you wouldn't die. You'd go lookin' for somebody else to pump gas and fill the cigar butts of yours with more money.

Alice Chicoy: [On the phone] Say, when are you comin' back anyway?
Johnny Chicoy: Well, that's what I was calling about. There was a landslide and the road is closed and I was... we was just...
Alice Chicoy: [Angrily] Now I get it.
Johnny Chicoy: What do you mean?
Alice Chicoy: I mean all of a sudden the road is closed and you've got no place to go except back to mama.
Johnny Chicoy: Honey, that ain't it.
Alice Chicoy: You gotta come back anyways so you make it sound like a pretty good deal. You're sorry, I'm sorry, and all those dames are sorry, and Norma's sorry.
Johnny Chicoy: I called you because I wanted to see ya and I was glad I was gonna see ya. And if you wasn't so drunk, you'd know that was the truth.
Alice Chicoy: Poor Johnny. Trying to get away and couldn't make it. Now you can't even cry on a blonde's shoulder.

Camille Oakes: [On the bus] Mind if I sit here?
Alice Chicoy: Go ahead.
Camille Oakes: It's none of my business but do you mind if I told you what I did to a guy I was in love with once? I put a chair over his head real hard to keep him from some dame at a party.
Alice Chicoy: I'll bet you never tried that again.
Camille Oakes: Don't know. I never saw him after that. He's married. Happily married. Now I make a living. Believe me, breaking a chair over a guy's head can sure work miracles. The kind of miracles that can louse up your whole life.

Johnny Chicoy: [On the phone] Look, I hadn't oughta left like that. I was too rough on you. I'm sorry, honey.
Alice Chicoy: Well, you know, Johnny. Sometimes we do things out of love that doesn't seem like love at all. You know what I mean? It's all right. I love you even when you act like a stinker. Even when I act like a stinker and that takes some doing. So you just turn the old bus around and come back double quick.

Morse: I thought you might need a good shoulder to cry on.
Alice Chicoy: He said he was comin' back.
Morse: Aw, you two are no good for each other anyways.
Alice Chicoy: A lot you know about it.
Morse: Let him sweat it out. He'll be back one day actin' sorry..
Alice Chicoy: I don't want him sorry. That's not the way I want him. I'm the one that's sorry. And get off that bed. Get out!
Morse: Don't get me wrong, Alice. I like Johnny. Just stopped by for coffee and donuts.
Alice Chicoy: Like fun you did.

Alice Chicoy: You think I want my customers thinkin' I've got a bunch of goons waitin' on 'em?
[Alice Grabbing Norma's picture and resume away from her]
Alice Chicoy: Norma Tracbow. Bust 34; waist 22. What am I running here, a girlie show or something?
Norma , the counter girl: Give me that picture back or else.
Alice Chicoy: Don't you threaten me, Miss Movie Queen, and just do your work and quit pretending your somebody you're not.
Norma , the counter girl: You've got to stop making fun of me.
Alice Chicoy: Just do one hour of work is all I ask. Just one hour.
Norma , the counter girl: Don't you push me, Mrs. Chicoy. I'm going. Ever since I came to work for you, you've been picking on me because you're jealous. Not because of work but because you're jealous.
Alice Chicoy: Jealous? Of you?
Norma , the counter girl: Of me and every other young girl who came to work here. And frankly, Mrs. Chicoy, I can't blame you for being jealous one little bit..