Dan Dailey: Ernest Horton

The Wayward Bus

Ernest Horton

Elliott Pritchard: Driver, are we on schedule?
Van Brunt: [Sarcastically] Schedule? Hmph.
Johnny Chicoy: Mister, this ain't the champagne flight to Chicago.
Van Brunt: You know where that wind's coming from? Southwest. You know those clouds are coming from? Southwest. You know where all our rain comes from mostly.
Ernest Horton: Northeast?
Van Brunt: Yes. No! Southwest.
Johnny Chicoy: Hey, why don't you take your own advice and shut up for a while, huh?.
Van Brunt: I wasn't talkin' to you, Chicoy. I was addressin' my fellow passengers. I got the right. I paid my fare!

Ernest Horton: Thinking about the weather, how about me buying you a nice wet drink when we get to the end of the line?
Camille Oakes: [Avoiding his come-on line] You know, it was real nice of you giving the kid that compact.
Ernest Horton: Well, I am nice.
Camille Oakes: And smart too, I suppose.
Ernest Horton: I don't know. If I was smart I'd be settling down and married instead of peddlin' stuff around like this. Hey, how about that? Marryin', you and me, huh.
Camille Oakes: [laughs] It's original. No question about it.
Ernest Horton: SImple as A-B-C.
Camille Oakes: [Abruptly] S-E-X, you mean. Look, you're a salesman. So am I. We both know what the score is. It's even. So why don't we call it that and quit, OK?.
Ernest Horton: I didn't know you were a salesman.
Camille Oakes: Well, I am. And a good one.
Ernest Horton: How about that drink?
Camille Oakes: I don't drink.
Ernest Horton: Alright, then I'll have two drinks. I'll drink for the both of us..
Camille Oakes: Fine, you do that. Now why don't you let me alone so I can catch up on what's happening in the rest of the world.

Johnny Chicoy: [after the bus avoids a crash and comes to a stand still] Sorry folks.
Van Brunt: Sorry? By the purist luck we didn't turn turtle!
Ernest Horton: He coulda killed all of us.
Van Brunt: I had you figured for a better man.
Ernest Horton: A better driver anyway. Awful.
Ed 'Pimples' Carson: He did real good, mister. I'd like to see you drive that good with water in the brake drum.
Van Brunt: Why didn't he get 'em fixed?
Mrs. Elliott (Bernice) Pritchard: Bringing us on this road was criminal negligence.
Elliott Pritchard: It certainly was.
Van Brunt: It isn't this road. It's the equipment. This should have been condemned long ago.
Elliott Pritchard: What should have been condemned was that fool bus driver.