- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: That girl you know, Gillian Holroyd, she's one.
- Merle Kittridge: A witch?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Yes!
- Merle Kittridge: Shep, you just never learned to spell.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Hasn't this cat got anything better to do? Couldn't you give him something to read?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: But what on earth are you doing with Pyewacket?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Somebody gave him my address.
- Merle Kittridge: Are you trying to say you're... *jilting* me?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: W-well, that's a very heavy word, Merle. It's a very heavy word. Let's just say that we're... uncoupling.
- [Last lines. Shep Henderson is surprised when Gillian breaks down in tears, since he knows that witches can't cry]
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: How did it happen?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: It just happened. It does sometimes.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: No, it only happens one way. The story is that it only happens if you fall in love. And it's been happening to me too, Gil. Ever since I walked in here. Only it's real this time.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: [kisses him] Oh, Shep!
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Or has it been real all along? Who's to say what magic is? Oh, Gil, don't you want to stop crying now?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: I don't think I can. I'm only human.
- Queenie: You don't really understand, Nicky. She's in love.
- Nicky Holroyd: [shuddering] Wouldn't she rather be dead?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: [to Shep, who lives one floor above her] It's nice having you over me. I mean it's reassuring having a man around... in case he's needed.
- [first lines]
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Oh, Pye, Pye, Pyewacket. What's the matter with me? Why do I feel this way? It's such a rut. The same old thing day after day. Same old people. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself but it's true. Why don't you give me something for Christmas, Pye?
- The Cat: Meow.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: What would I like?
- The Cat: Meow.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: I'd like to do something different. I'd like to meet someone different.
- Sidney Redlitch: Ring the bell, close the book, quench the candle. That's how they used to excorcise them.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Shep... I have always lived for and by the special. Not the ordinary. Why, I've never even *thought* of marriage.
- Bianca de Passe: Do you know what she used?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Used?
- Bianca de Passe: Heart of toad, white vinegar, swallows liver?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: She used a cat.
- Parrot: Cat!
- Queenie: I sit in the subway sometimes, on buses, or the movies, and I look at the people next to me and I think..."What would you say if I told you I was a witch?"
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: [At the Zodiac; Shep referring to Mrs. De Passe] You won't catch her at El Morocco.
- Merle Kittridge: She looks like she's been living in a pickle barrel.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: [referring to "Magic in Mexico"] Did you publish that?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: No, but I wish I had. Sold like the Kinsey Report.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Well, I can't think why. It's completely phony.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Oh, it is?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: I spent a year in Mexico. I'm sure they fed him a lot of fake tourist stuff, and he swallowed it whole.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Well, maybe they did that to Kinsey too.
- Queenie: Oh, Gil, darling, you're depressed.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: I expect it's Christmas. Always upsets me. Auntie? Auntie, don't you ever wish that you weren't - what we are?
- Queenie: No!
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: That you could just spend Christmas Eve in a little church somewhere, listening to carols instead of bongo drums?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: What have you been up to? Have you been engaging in un-American activities or something?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: No, I'd say very American. Early American.
- Parrot: You're a fool! Who's a fool? You're a fool!
- Bianca de Passe: [after pouring her potion into a bowl Shep is holding] I conjure thee to remove all chains and break all bonds which bind thee. Drink it.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: And now, if you'll forgive me, I think I'll be going. Believe me, I've had my fill of this "bell, book and candle" set.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: [Redlitch gestures to Shep for another drink] Oh sure, go ahead.
- Sidney Redlitch: [handing Tina his empty glass] Uh, what was that?
- Tina - Shep's Secretary: Scotch.
- Sidney Redlitch: Make this one bourbon, would you?
- Queenie: Nicky's the one playing the bongos. You know, up to a few months ago, he'd never studied music.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: He's quite remarkable.
- Queenie: Yes, particularly when you consider that, before that, he used to work in an herb shop.
- Merle Kittridge: Looks to me as if he's eaten one herb too many. That's why he acts so creepy, I suppose.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: No, it's not that at all. It's just that all the Holroyds are a little sinister. You see, Nicky's my brother.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: I'm afraid I never gave you much of anything.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Oh, yes, yes, you did. You gave me something wonderful. You made me unhappy.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: [responding to Redlitch's hint for "a little post-Christmas cheer"] Oh, certainly... Scotch? Bourbon?
- Sidney Redlitch: Uh, it doesn't make any difference.
- Queenie: Mr. Henderson and I saw each other a little earlier. I'm afraid he thinks I've been naughty.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Look, there's that man upstairs. He's different. Why don't I ever know people like that? Hmm? Why don't you give me him for Christmas, Pye? Why don't you give me him?
- Bianca de Passe: This is a charming little number about a man who was assassinated and thrown into a river. That was 10 years ago, and there he's been all this time at the bottom. Without food, alcohol or a female friend. In addition, he detests water.
- Zodiac Club Proprietor: The night is favorable - auspicious for love, pleasure, entertainment. Go right down.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: it's nice having you over me. I mean, it's reassuring having a man near one, in case he's needed.
- Nicky Holroyd: Warlock. Well, you'd never know it to look at him, would you?
- Sidney Redlitch: You wouldn't, but I would.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: You can recognize them?
- Sidney Redlitch: Like a shot.
- Queenie: How?
- Nicky Holroyd: Just a look or a feeling or something. I can't put my finger on it, but if one came in here right now I'd know him in a minute.
- Nicky Holroyd: Yeah. I wonder if we know any of them?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: I wonder. I suppose there's lots of it around.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Yeah, it's sort of like the flu.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: The amazing thing about it, I think he really believes there are such things as witches.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Just so he doesn't think I'm one.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Pyewacket, where are you? Pyewacket! Pyewacket! Pyewacket, where are you? Pye. Pye!
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: You wanted to go dancing in the snow. Of course, you don't remember.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: I remember every single moment, and I'm going to mush your nose.
- [kiss]
- Tina - Shep's Secretary: Bergdorf called about that negligee you wanted sent to Miss Kittridge.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: I see. Well, now, Tina, why don't you just have them send that to your house? And I'm not going to have lunch with Miss Kittridge or dinner. So you can just cancel all those reservations.
- Tina - Shep's Secretary: You mean you've broken up with that...
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: And we don't want to have a perfectly good negligee go to waste, do we?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: I want you as much as you want me.
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Would you like it to go on for always?
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Does anything go on for always?
- Gillian 'Gil' Holroyd: Well, one likes to think some things do.
- Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: We're just gonna drive up-state or over to Jersey or wherever it is that you do it - and - do it!
- Sidney Redlitch: I don't suppose you'd be interested in the sequel I have in mind about the islands in the Caribbean, "Voodoo Among the Virgins"? No, huh?
- Sidney Redlitch: [on the way to Mrs. de Passe, to take the spell off Shep] Fascinating, boy. Fascinating.
- Nicky Holroyd: I hope I can watch.
- Tina - Shep's Secretary: You're howling! You've been howling for weeks and weeks and weeks. If you want to fire me, go ahead. Who wants to work for a coyote?