- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, those are girls!...
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Bullwinkle, this is terrible!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: It is?
- Rocket J. Squirrel: What kind of game can you play with girls?
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Boy, this really is a children's show, isn't it?
- [Bullwinkle looks into the camera]
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Parcheesi, of course.
- Narrator: Well, today we find our heroes flying along smoothly...
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Flying along smoothly?
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: You're just looking at the picture sideways!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Actually it's like this!
- Narrator: Oh... OH GOOD HEAVENS! Today we find our heroes plunging straight down toward disaster at supersonic speed!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: That's better.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hey, Rocky; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Again?
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Nothin' up my sleeve - Presto!
- [pulls Rocky out of the hat]
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Well, I'm gettin' close.
- Rocky: Bullwinkle, it says here that for you to inherit the fortune, you have to spend the weekend in the ancestral home, Abominable Manor.
- Bullwinkle: That's no problem. I've been living in an abominable manner all my life.
- Rocky: Bullwinkle, do you know what an A-Bomb is?
- Bullwinkle: Sure, a bomb is what some people call our show.
- Rocky: I don't think that's very funny.
- Bullwinkle: Neither do they, apparently.
- [lead-in to many commercials]
- Rocky: Look, Bulliwinkle, a message in a bottle.
- Bullwinkle: Fan mail from some flounder?
- Rocky: This is what I really call a message.
- Edgar: Now there's something you don't see every day, Chauncey.
- Chauncey: What's that, Edgar?
- [repeated line]
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And now, here to tell you everything about anything is Mr. Know-It-All.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: [a Bullwinkle Puppet Intro for Fractured Fairy Tales] "And now it's time for another fairy tale. A piece of transparent nonsense which really doesn't fool anybody but, which makes people feel better. You know... ; like the TV Code of Ethics?"
- [Rocky and Bullwinkle have brought an old model ship to an antique dealer]
- Rocky: Bullwinkle, this ship is covered in rubies and look what's written on the side! O-Mar Khay-yam. Bullwinkle, do you know what this is?
- Bullwinkle: Well, if you're waiting on me to say it, I won't.
- Antique Dealer: Me neither.
- Rocky: OK, then this must be
- [pause]
- Rocky: "The Ruby Yacht of Omar Khayyam".
- Bullwinkle, Antique Dealer: OOOOH!
- Rocky: Bullwinkle, I'm worried.
- Bullwinkle: Ratings down in the show again?
- Rocky: No.
- Bullwinkle: That's odd.
- Rocky: I'm worried because there have already been two attempts on your life.
- Bullwinkle: Oh, don't worry. We will be renewed.
- Rocky: I'm not talking about the Bullwinkle Show.
- Bullwinkle: You had better; we could use the publicity.
- Rocky: [recognizing Boris's voice] That voice. Where have I heard that voice before?
- Bullwinkle: In about 365 other episodes. But I don't know who it is, either.
- Mr. Peabody: Hello again. Peabody, Sherman, and Wayback here. Sherman's the one with the glasses.
- Narrator: A loop, a whirl, a vertical climb and once again you know its time for Rocky! And his friends.
- Bullwinkle: You just leave it to my pal Rock. He's the brains of the outfit.
- General: And what does that make you?
- Bullwinkle: What else? The executive.
- Boris Badenov: Phooey! Foiled again!
- Natasha Fatale: Don't you mean, "Curses! Foiled again!"?
- Boris Badenov: Please, Natasha. This is kiddie show.
- ["Bullwinkle's Corner" does "Tom, Tom the Piper's Son" as a "Dragnet" spoof. Bullwinkle, as Tom, is arrested for stealing a pig. At the police station, he is grilled under a hot light by two police detectives who speak in quick "Dragnet"-style dialogue]
- Police Officer #1: D'you know it's a felony to pack a pig over a state line?
- Police Officer #2: Pig-napping!
- Bullwinkle: But, it's a pig in a poem!
- Police Officer #1: Oh, a pig in a poke, huh?
- Bullwinkle: Not "poke." "Poem." Pig in a poem!
- Police Officer #2: Pig poem?
- Bullwinkle: [Measuring with his hands] Not so pig, just about...
- Police Officer #1: You makin' fun of the way we talk?
- Bullwinkle: [Frustrated] No, but it's *catchin'!*
- Police Officer #2: [Writing on a notepad] Name?
- Bullwinkle: I'm Tom, Tom the Piper's Son!
- Police Officer #1: [Holds up the pig] All right, Piper's Son. What were you gonna do with the pig?
- Bullwinkle: Well, the poem says, "The pig was eat." But...
- Police Officer #2: Gonna eat it, huh?
- Police Officer #1: On a platter?
- Police Officer #2: Apple in it's mouth, like that?
- Bullwinkle: [angry] Certainly not!
- Police Officer #1: All right, Piper's Son, you can go. But don't leave town.
- Bullwinkle: Thanks! Can I have my pig back?
- Police Officer #2: No. Evidence.
- Bullwinkle: [Moves toward the door] Darn!
- Police Officer #1: One more thing, Piper's Son.
- Bullwinkle: What's that?
- Police Officer #1: [Holds up the pig, smiling] You got an apple on you?
- [Bullwinkle looks dizzy. The "Dragnet" theme plays: 'Dum de dum dum!']
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, is Moose you said you killed in previous episode?
- Boris Badenov: Look, it's his show. If he wants to be hard to kill, let him.
- Boris: [trying to trick Rocky and Bullwinkle] I am part of one of the biggest advertising company's in the country. Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, and Fink.
- Bullwinkle: Yeah, I have heard of those first three fellows, but who is Fink?
- Boris: I am Fink.
- Natasha: You can say that again, dahling.
- Bullwinkle: I'd like to apply for a job as an usher?
- Boris: What experience have you had?
- Bullwinkle: I've been in the dark for most of my life.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And now...
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: But that trick never works!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: This time for sure! Presto! Well i'm getting close.
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And now it's time for another special feature!
- Narrator: And so we come to the end of another fun filled episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle!
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: You know Rock He sure got some funny ideas about fun.
- Bullwinkle: [explaining the components of a stereo system] This is the amplifier, which amplifies the sound. And this is the preamplifier, which, of course, amplifies the pree.
- Boris Badenov: Ah, it good to be back on campus.
- Natasha Fatale: Boris, you went to college? Penn State?
- Boris Badenov: No, state pen.
- Rocky: For all of you who want to be tigers in the field of journalism, here's Mr. Know-It-All.
- Bullwinkle: Hello, copycats.
- Bullwinkle: Today's lesson is how to be a lion tamer and pick up a little scratch... on the side... of your head.
- Rocky: It's Bullwinkle!
- Captain Peter "Wrongway" Peachfuzz: Or a figment of somebody's imagination.
- Rocky: Figure of who's imagination?
- Bullwinkle: Who you calling a Fig Newton?
- Bullwinkle: Got the wrong script from the teleprompter. As you know this is really the Humphley/Brinley report. No no. The Bullwinkle Show. And I am your moose-ster of ceremonies for the next half-hour: Bullwinkle his-self. As if you couldn't tell. I mean what other show has a host who sings, dances, recites poetry and has antlers? Well, on this network anyway...
- [an incident causes all the main characters to become lost at sea. There is nobody left on the screen]
- Fish #1: There's something you don't see every day.
- Fish #2: What's that?
- Fish #1: A TV show where all they show you is a picture of rocks.
- Fish #2: Well, c'mon. It *is* called "The Rocky Show".
- Rocky: A thousand dollars to get to Frostbite Falls?
- Bullwinkle: You can buy the place for eight dollars cash.
- Bullwinkle: [Last lines in last episode of series] Well, the old place is back to sub-normal, Rock?
- [while fishing from a boat with Rocky near Moosylvania]
- Rocky: Yeah and we-
- [interrupted by sound of gunshot]
- Rocky: Hey, was that a shot?
- Bullwinkle: Heck, no, Rock.
- Rocky: Well, it sounded like a shot.
- Bullwinkle: Nope.
- Rocky: Then, what was it?
- Bullwinkle: That was, "The End."
- ["The End" appears in the sky above their boat]
- The Announcer: By George, he's got it! It is "The End." But watch for another episode soon of "Rocky and Bullwinkle."
- Bullwinkle: It may be a little hard to find, but don't give up.
- Rocky: We're not!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And now it's time for...
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Time for that jolly juggler Bullwinkle!
- Rocket J. Squirrel: Oh dear.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Three at once. One. Two...
- Rocket J. Squirrel: And now here's a feature you're sure to like.
- Bullwinkle J. Moose: Three.