Pillow Talk (1959)

Tony Randall: Jonathan Forbes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hotel clerk : There's no phone number, but I have a forwarding address.

  Jonathan Forbes : 241 Stoneybrook Road.

  Hotel clerk : Why yes sir.

  Jonathan Forbes : [slams counter]  And you let her go.

  Hotel clerk : Well, it wasn't my place...

  Jonathan Forbes : No, it's my place, and I helped him pack.

• Jonathan Forbes : You've been crying for 60 miles.

• Jonathan Forbes : In New York, you have air you can sink your teeth into. It has character.

• Jonathan Forbes : Brad, she is the sweetest, she is the loveliest, she is the most talented woman I have ever met.

  Brad Allen : That's what you said when you married that stripper.

  Jonathan Forbes : She wasn't a stripper. She was an exotic dancer... with trained doves.

• Jonathan Forbes : Owww!

  Brad Allen : What?

  Jonathan Forbes : That chair. It just bit me.

• Brad Allen : Why don't you take her over for the rest of the evening?

  Jonathan Forbes : Me?

  Brad Allen : Yeah! Take her dancing maybe. She's dying to learn how to dance.

  Jonathan Forbes : Wait wait. She doesn't know how to dance?

  Brad Allen : Well naturally, she doesn't get out of the house very often.

  Jonathan Forbes : What do you mean, "naturally"?

  Brad Allen : Jonathan, believe me, you and Moose - I mean Miss Taggett will get along...

  Jonathan Forbes : "Moose"?

  Brad Allen : So what the girl picks up a nickname? You know, how cruel kids can be. Especially, when some is a little different.

  Jonathan Forbes : Different? How Different?

  Brad Allen : Well... You know...

  [hesitatingly points to face] 

  Brad Allen : ... , just different.

  Jonathan Forbes : [Pointing to a fat lady sitting at a table]  That couldn't be her, could it?

  Brad Allen : How can you tell?

  [waves at the lady, who waves back] 

  Brad Allen : See? She's so friendly. C'mon.

  Jonathan Forbes : Oh no! It's your muse. Happy Hunting!

  [Gets coat, and leaves] 

  Brad Allen : Yes, indeed.

• Jonathan Forbes : [after having awkwardly kissed Jan for the first time and seeing her unimpressed reaction]  Well, they didn't hit the moon with the first missile shot either.

• Brad Allen : Did she cry?

  Jonathan Forbes : Cry? I never knew a woman that size had that much water in her.

• Jonathan Forbes : What a delightful situation! The great Brad Allen, chopped down to size, floating down the river with the rest of us logs.

• Jonathan Forbes : Brad, as a friend... Sit down, boy. As a friend, I only hope one day you find a girl like this. You ought to quit all this chasing around, get married.

  Brad Allen : Why? Why?

  Jonathan Forbes : You're not getting any younger, fella. Oh, sure, it's fun, it's exciting. Dancing, nightclubbing with a different doll every night. But there comes a time when a man wants to give up that kind of life.

  Brad Allen : Why?

  Jonathan Forbes : Because he wants to create a stable, lasting relationship with one person. Brad, believe me, there is nothing in this world so wonderful, so fulfilling, as coming home to the same woman every night.

  Brad Allen : Why?

  Jonathan Forbes : Because that's what it means to be adult. A wife, a family, a house. A mature man wants those responsibilities.

  Brad Allen : Why?

  Jonathan Forbes : Well, if you want to, you can find tricky arguments against anything. I gotta get out of here. What have you got against marriage anyway?

  Brad Allen : Jonathan, before a man gets married, he's like a tree in the forest. He stands there independent, an entity unto himself. And then he's chopped down, his branches are cut off, he's stripped of his bark and he's thrown into the river with the rest of the logs. Then this tree is taken to the mill. And when it comes out, it's no longer a tree. It's the vanity table, the breakfast nook, the baby crib, and the newspaper that lines the family garbage can.

• Jonathan Forbes : At least you could have had the decency to bring your own champagne!

• Jonathan Forbes : Those marriages were just a revolt against my mother. I'm trying to work it out. I'm trying to find out why I dislike her so. I've been talking to this psychiatrist about my mother for two years now!

  Jan : And..?

  Jonathan Forbes : It's perfectly healthy. He dislikes her as much as I do.

• Jonathan Forbes : You started out with nothing and you've really made something out of yourself! Me, I started out in college with eight million dollars, and I've still got eight million dollars... I just can't seem to get ahead.