- Dr. Mikhail Andrassy: My daughter speaks seven languages.
- Franceska Andrassy: How many do you speak?
- Wilby Daniels: [silently holds up one finger]
- Buzz Miller: Hey, Wilby, what is it this time?
- Wilby Daniels: What about the seven bucks I loaned you?
- Buzz Miller: What about it?
- Wilby Daniels: Cough it up. Pop pulled the plug on my allowance.
- Buzz Miller: Gee, pal, I'd like to help you out, but you know how it is. I've got a date with Allison.
- Wilby Daniels: I'm sick and tired of financing your romances.
- Freeda Daniels: Frankly, I think that dogs don't like mailmen because... well, because sometimes they bring bad news. Animals sense those things, you know.
- Franceska Andrassy: [Speaks in French to Buzz and Wilby]
- Buzz Miller: [Speaking slowly in English] Umm... me... bring... dog... you.
- Wilby Daniels: [Speaking slowly] Him, me. We do this!
- Dr. Mikhail Andrassy: What is it Franceska?
- Franceska Andrassy: Chiffon ran away and these two nice Indian boys brought him back.
- [last lines]
- Moochie Daniels: Gee, I told you! I finally got a dog!
- Wilson Daniels: What do you mean you got a dog? *We* got a dog!
- [looks at the camera and smiles]
- [first lines]
- Narrator: This is a shaggy dog story. It could've happened anywhere or to anyone. It so happened that it happened to Wilson Daniels. A man who loved people, but hated dogs.