The Bed Sitting Room (1969)

Peter Cook: Police Inspector

Photos 

Quotes 

• Inspector : [part of long, mock-Churchillian speech]  ... the lion shall lie down with the lamb, the goat shall give suck to the tiny bee...

• Lord Fortnum of Alamein : Where can I stop?

  Inspector : You can't stop anywhere, sir, as you very well know. We don't want to stay in one place long enough for the enemy to have another chance at us, do we? Not until our preemptive strike is launched. Do we, sir? Do we, sir!

  Lord Fortnum of Alamein : Have we not struck back? Has England not? We should have struck back three years ago, if not before.

  Inspector : I expect we did, sir. These things take time.

• Lord Fortnum of Alamein : Absolutely refuse to handle me, until I've turned into a bed-sitting room.

  Inspector : And you are not that?

  Lord Fortnum of Alamein : Not yet! Fully. Damn you, man. Do I--do I look like a bed-sitting room?

  Inspector : It's not for me to say, sir.

• Inspector : Come on, Sergeant. Put your back into it.

  Sergeant : I put my back into it, sir.

  Inspector : Put your front into it, then.

• Inspector : Evening. We're looking for a man.

  Bules Martin : Are you indeed, Inspector? There aren't many of us left, you know.

  Inspector : We're also looking for a bed-sitting room.

  Bules Martin : Aren't we all!

• Inspector : I didn't join the force just to drift aimlessly into the void!

• Inspector : At times of great national emergency, you'll often find that a new leader tends to emerge. Here I am. So, watch it!