William Mervyn credited as playing...
Sir Charles Gurney
- Dr. Herder: He can't forget being rejected by his mother and father at the age of 11. They sent him away, alone, into a primitive community of licensed bullies and pederasts.
- Sir Charles: You mean he went to public school.
- Dr. Herder: Exactly.
- Sir Charles: Are you sure you can handle the situation? Marrying a man who thinks he is god?
- Grace: Happens all the time.
- Dr. Herder: His lordship is a paranoid schizophrenic.
- Sir Charles: Paranoid schizophrenic? But he's a Gurney!
- Dr. Herder: Then he's a paranoid schizophrenic Gurney who believes he's God.
- Sir Charles: But we've always been Church of England!
- Sir Charles: We're just talking about you and the subject of marriage. We think you should take a wife.
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Who from?
- Sir Charles: What about Jack?
- Dr. Herder: Remember he's suffering from delusions of grandeur. In reality he's an earl, an English aristocrat, a member of the ruling class. Naturally, he's come to believe there's only one person grander than that: the Lord God Almighty Himself.
- Sir Charles: Are you English?
- Dr. Herder: No.
- Sir Charles: [slowly] Ah.
- Sir Charles: Come, doctor, you said he needed a harsh dose of reality. Well, you can't get a harder dose of the stuff than marriage.
- Sir Charles: [exasperated, after meeting Jack] Oh, my God!
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: [ducking back into the room after hearing Charles] Yes?
- Lady Claire Gurney: How dare you bring that woman here!
- Sir Charles: You should be very grateful to Miss Shelley.
- Lady Claire Gurney: Grace Shelley is your mistress.
- Sir Charles: Miss Shelley is just a hard working girl.
- Lady Claire Gurney: On her back!
- Sir Charles: There are certain matters to do with the estate that need clearing up. Nothing important. Just need your signature. Gives me power to handle odd things.
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Of course, Uncle.
- Sir Charles: There's no need to read it. Just take my word.
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: I take your word. I put on my glasses because I feel cold. Where do I sign?
- Sir Charles: Just there. Excellent, excellent. Easily done, eh?
- [reading the signature]
- Sir Charles: "I, the undersigned, Mycroft Holmes?" Who's Mycroft Holmes?
- Tucker: Brother of Sherlock Holmes, you illiterate oaf.
- Sir Charles: Where'd they go?
- Lady Claire Gurney: To bed, of course.
- Dinsdale Gurney: I must say, I wouldn't like to be in her shoes tonight.
- Tucker: It's not her shoes he'll be in, Master Dinsdale.
- Sir Charles: So, he just rode about all night then?
- Grace: First the bike, then me.
- Sir Charles: Hmm.
- Grace: His mind may be wonky, but there's certainly nothing wrong with the rest of his anatomy.
- Sir Charles: It's out of the question!
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Who asked you a question? Did you ask him a question? Nobody asked a question, so I'll ask a question: Who's the head of the Gurney household?
- Sir Charles: You are, Jack.
- Jack Arnold Alexander Tancred Gurney, 14th Earl of Gurney: Then don't let me hear you answering unasked questions again!
- Bishop Bertie Lampton: Tell me, did Ralph commit suicide?
- Sir Charles: Suicide? Tucker found Ralph hanging in his bedroom wearing a cocked hat, underpants and a ballet skirt. Does that sound like suicide?
- Sir Charles: I told him not to remain a widower. The guv'nor didn't have to start breeding again. It was not pleasant for a man of Ralph's age, but that was something he had to get on top of.
- Sir Charles: Claire! I said, Ralph is back.
- Lady Claire Gurney: Thank you, Charles. I'll have a vodka and tonic.
- Dinsdale Gurney: I say, guv'nor, the guv'nor is back. Mummy, I was just telling the guv'nor that the guv'nor is back.
- Lady Claire Gurney: Charles! With ice.
- Dinsdale Gurney: I'm repeating myself, calling the guv'nor the guv'nor and Daddy the guv'nor as well.
- Lady Claire Gurney: You heard what he said, Charles.
- Sir Charles: I did. Destroying property. All men are equal. Do you know what this means, Claire? He's not only mad, he's Bolshie!
- Lady Claire Gurney: Dr. Herder is furious.
- Sir Charles: Furious? He's got no right to be furious. He's not family.
- Lady Claire Gurney: He could make things difficult by having Jack declared insane before he's produced an heir.
- Sir Charles: Damned Kraut. You'll have to keep your eye on him, my dear. I'm gonna have me hands full getting Grace married and pregnant.
- Grace: You're right, Charlie boy. She is an ice-cold biddy.
- Sir Charles: Oh, she's too clever by half, that woman. But I get things done my way. She doesn't know what she wants.
- Grace: Oh, but I do, Charlie boy.