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Betsy
: Am I stoned yet?
Elvira
: I don't think so.
Betsy
: Then lets play Chopsticks anyway.
[
Betsy plays Chopsticks on the piano
]
Betsy
: I don't remember the words...
Elvira
: [
handing Betsy the joint
] Smokee?
Betsy
: [
smiling and fixated on the joint being handed to her
] Okay.
Elvira
: Do you want a pill?
Betsy
: [
without so much as a fleeting pause
] Oh I can't take the pill, I'm Catholic.
Elvira
: Not *the* pill... *a* pill.
Eddie
: She was sure you'd been murdered and raped.
Elvira
: (sarcastic) Murdered maybe...
Elvira
: Jack, I know you'd just as soon climb aboard a man than a woman, wouldn't you?
Jack
: Elvira, I'd climb aboard a porcupine if it struck my fancy.
Jack
: Say, that's a nice looking ring.
Eddie
: Do you like it? I wasn't sure I liked it. I thought it looked a little queer.
Jack
: Queer strange or queer faggoty?
Eddie
: Queer faggoty.
[
Betsy puts on crotchless panties and a frontless bra
]
Betsy
: Why don't I just wear nothing?
Elvira
: That would be vulgar.
Betsy
: Did you have a nice evening, Elvira?
Elvira
: No. I'd tell you all about it, only you'd blush.
Betsy
: That's all a good Catholic girl ever does.
Betsy
: Well now, I was thinking... with all of you in the bed... uh
[
pause
]
Betsy
: how do you know...
[
pause
]
Elvira
: Who's who?
Betsy
: Uh, well yeah.
Elvira
: You don't. First you don't know. Then you can't tell. Then you you don't care.
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