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Ray Milland and Roosevelt Grier in The Thing with Two Heads (1972)

Quotes

The Thing with Two Heads

Edit
  • Lila: Get some sleep, baby, I'll wake you once dinner's ready.
  • Jack Moss: Let's just stay here a little while.
  • Lila: Now come on, honey, I got to start dinner.
  • Jack Moss: You don't have to start now, why don't you start it later?
  • Lila: [hesitant] Oh come on Jack, I... I
  • [she glances at Kirshner]
  • Jack Moss: Is he bothering you? I'll cover his head with a pillowcase.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: [with disgust] You must be joking! Is that all you people think about?
  • Lila: [with disgust] It's no use honey, maybe when I get used to it.
  • [walks off]
  • Jack Moss: [turns to Kirshner] Now you know you got to go!
  • Jack Moss: It's all right, honey, I'm not gonna hurt you.
  • Lila: You get into more shit...
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Phillip... Get me another body... please.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Philip, get me another body.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Williams! If you cut off my head, that'll be murder!
  • Dr. Fred Williams: You actually feel I could take credit for something with which I had very little to do?
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: I don't understand you.
  • Dr. Fred Williams: The reason you don't understand, Doctor, is because you're a *bigot*. A bigot of the highest caliber. And because of that, you have underestimated me and my intelligence.
  • Jack Moss: [Kirshner's head smokes a cigarette. The smoke comes out of Jack's mouth. Disgusted he removes the cigarette from Kirshner's mouth] Hey man, don't be smoking a cigarette while I'm eating!
  • Jack Moss: [revs the motocross bike] Ready?
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: You're going to get us all killed!
  • [Jack drives off on the bike]
  • Lila: [Looking Jack over after he arrives at their home] Is there anything else you got two of?
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: What the hell is the matter with you, Moss? Get back to bed!
  • Jack Moss: You jive.
  • Jack Moss: This car is a real dud.
  • Dr. Fred Williams: [sarcastically] I don't often use it to outrun the police.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Is this some kind of joke!
  • Warden: This is an offer from the office of the Lieutenant Governor. To all men presently on death row, we are hereby offering one of you the opportunity of donating your body to science, rather than undergo your your present sentence of death by electrocution. While the resulting scientific experiment will -- after a period of 30 days -- also result in your death, you will, at least, have the personal satisfaction that your life has aided humanity and the scientific world.
  • Jack Moss: What are you guys going to do to me, anyway?
  • Dr. Philip Desmond: We're conducting a transplant operation, Mr. Moss. They did explain to you that you won't survive this operation? They did explain to you, didn't they?
  • Jack Moss: Oh yeah, yeah. Yes, sir. Big Jack got himself 30 more days. Then the man's gonna try to pull the switch again. 30 more days... maybe all I need? Then everybody gonna know Big Jack is innocent. Yes, sir.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Williams, stop this car immediately! By helping him, you're making yourself an accomplice.
  • Dr. Fred Williams: Why don't you shut up?
  • Jack Moss: Hey, that's telling him, man.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: I should have known your kind stick together!
  • Jack Moss: Listen man, I know the jury, the D.A., and the papers all say I'm guilty. But Big Jack knows the truth!
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: Well, Big Jack better stop this insanity and give himself up before we're all killed.
  • Jack Moss: What's this 'we' stuff? They're not after you, they're after me. So I'll do the thinking.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: You mean you're actually considering helping this escaped murderer?
  • Jack Moss: Murderer? You're the murderer trying to cut off my head!
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: That's different!
  • Jack Moss: Funny how it becomes different when you're talking about your own head.
  • Lila: Honey, I was wondering, um... do you have two of anything else?
  • TV Newscaster: And, as you can see, still no answers. But, this is known: a two-headed man has been seen, and it is suspected that condemned murder Jack Moss is one of those two heads.
  • [last lines]
  • Dr. Fred Williams: Doctor, you'd better get over to Dr. Christian's house as soon as possible. He needs your help.
  • Dr. Maxwell Kirshner: [as Dr. Philip races into the operating room at the house] Philip... Philip... Get me another body. Please...

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