Mean Frank and Crazy Tony

Frankie Dio (Lee VanCleef) is a high-ranking mobster who turns himself in to the police or illegal gambling (for reasons that seem unclear to me). Tony (Tony Lo Bianco) is a low-level thug who frequents a pool hall and spends his free time envying Frankie. By being in the right place at the right time, Tony gets arrested with Frankie and is sent to jail... where they form a bond that may not quite be friendship, but it will do for now.

This film came to me under the title of "Frank and Tony", which is disappointing because I see an alternate name is "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony", which would have helped sell the film more effectively. I presume that's an homage to "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry" but what do I know? I watched it shortly after another Italian crime film, "Violent Professionals", and I must say the two complement each other very well.

Italians have always lagged behind Americans in their budgets and production values, which is a real shame with this film. It is considered a "grindhouse" film, which unfairly demotes it to a b-movie (or worse). With a cleaner sound and picture, this could have been a Hollywood hit, I suspect. I found the story very interesting, the characters (and actors) better than average and unlike "Violent Professionals" the plot is fairly clear -- not too many secondary characters.

If you like Mafia movies or crime films you should give this one a try. A film about the mob that's actually from Italy (how much more authentic do you want?) is as much as you can ask. Sure, it's not "The Godfather", but it's not supposed to be. This isn't a drama, it's a light comedy, heavy action buddy film... like "Die Hard With a Vengeance" from the point of view of the bad guys. Well, okay, not really.

If nothing else, this film made me want to check out other films from the director and the principle cast. Films besides "Escape From New York" (where VanCleef plays "Hauk") and the usual cult movies. What's more fun than discovering a lost classic?

This movie takes place in Italy (Genoa and the Riviera) and in France. There is no death row in those countries. And the prisoners have minestrone for dinner. There is a lot you can do with minestrone – you can even use it as a weapon and it has a real filmic potential! The story on the cover of this cheap DVD is not what you will see. But there is Lee Van Cleef all right. He is some kind of Mafia Don, and he looks meek, like some kind of a bookkeeper (which he apparently was in real life). For an escape from prison (it's a cinch!) he is given some workman's clothes, a half length blue coat and a blue peaked cap - and suddenly he looks like Lenin, and I mean the true Vladimir Illich on one of those kitschy Socialist Realism paintings. It is hilarious! The resemblance is so striking that it cannot be a coincidence.

The story is not good – well, hardly existing, the editing is chaotic, the unrestored print used for the DVD occasionally badly scratched. But some scenes are really well directed, the acting, the set design and the photography are above average. As often in Italian movies of the period: interesting details, messy as a whole. The movie is principally a comedy. Tony Lo Bianco is hilarious as a small time pimp who thinks the Don is god (he plays a mixture of Roberto Benigni and Eric Roberts in Runaway Train). Van Cleef's adversary is played by Jean Rochefort, a great French character actor who more often plays roles in powdered wigs. There are elements of Film Noir, interesting interiors and lighting and a long and very funny car chase. It's the kind of movie that smart guys like Quentin Tarantino learned from, I guess. And if you like old Alfa Romeo police cars skidding through narrow alleys and Edwige Fenech bare breasted, you are really in for a treat.

Although I'm grateful this obscure gem of 70's Italian exploitation cinema features in the recently released "Grindhouse Experience" box set, and although it's also available on disc under the misleading and stupid alternate title "Escape from Death Row", I honestly think it deserves a proper and luxurious DVD edition, completely in its originally spoken languages with subtitle options (the dubbing is truly horrible), restored picture quality and a truckload of special bonus features! Heck, I don't even need the restored picture quality and bonus features if only we could watch the film in its original language. "Mean Frank and Crazy Tony" is a cheerfully fast-paced mafia/crime flick with a lot of violence, comedy (which, admittedly, doesn't always work), feminine beauty and two witty main characters. Tony Lo Bianco is terrific as the small thug pretending to be the city's biggest Don. When the real crime lord Frankie Dio (Lee Van Cleef) arrives in town, he sees an opportunity to climb up the ladder by offering his services. Frankie initially ignores the little crook, but they do eventually form an unlikely team when Frankie's entire criminal empire turns against him and a new French criminal mastermind even assassinates Frankie's innocent brother. Tony helps Frankie to escape from prison and together they head for Marseille to extract Frankie's revenge. The script of this sadly neglected crime gem funnily alters gritty action & suspense with light-headed bits of comedy, like the grotesque car chase through the narrow French mountain roads for example. The build up towards the typical mafia execution sequences (guided by an excellent Riz Ortolani score) are extremely tense and the actual killings are sadistic and merciless, which is probably why the film is considered to be somewhat of a grindhouse classic. The film lacks a strong female lead, as the lovely and amazingly voluptuous beauty Edwige Fenech sadly just appears in a couple of scenes, and then still in the background. On of the men behind the camera, responsible for the superb cinematography, was no less then Joe D'Amato. Great film, highly recommended to fans of Italian exploitation, and I hope to watch it again soon in its original version.

I was very impressed with this well made Lupo vehicle from 1974. Lee Van Cleef is Frank, a mean, cold, feared and respected crime lord. While Tony Lo Bianco is Tony, a street hustler who has some respect in his neighborhood, other than that not a nada. These two meet under odd circumstances, seeing that Tony's fascination with the Boss is borderline infatuation. Well let's say that Frank does not like Tony and tony adores Frank, until Tony saves Franks life in a mafia hit. I'm not going to keep on rambling, but if you like Italo Crime, Lee Van Cleef or Joe D'Amato (photography). Then you owe it to yourself to see this movie! I give it a very sturdy 8 out of 10

Everyone is familiar with Lee Van Cleef from the spaghetti westerns - Return of Sabata, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - but, he also made spaghetti crime flicks, too.

This one, produced by Dino de Laurentiis and directed by Michele Lupo, also stars Tony Lo Bianco, who is a familiar movie name on both sides of the law.

This was in his younger, thinner years, and he plays a small-time hood that is infatuated with big boss Frankie Diomede (Van Cleef), who pays him no attention until he saves his life.

Neat car chase down the mountains and lots of killer by gun, drill and freezer.

And skintastic display by Edwige Fenech (Hostel II), who has many many skintastic moments to her credit.