- Alexander Waverly: Mr. Kuryakin left the hospital this morning. By now he's back chasing cats in Soho.
- Alexander Waverly: Mr. Solo, when you contact Miss Lancer, please keep it in mind that although you are investigating a biological mystery, you're relationship with Miss Lancer on behalf of U.N.C.L.E. is - research of another order.
- Napoleon Solo: Duty first.
- Napoleon Solo: [calling into headquarters] You don't sound at all like Mr Waverly.
- Wanda: Now really, Napoleon, Mr. Waverly made me your contact woman.
- Napoleon Solo: Oh, he shows impeccable taste, Wanda. It's a beautiful moon here. How's your's?
- Wanda: We don't have any. It's only five o'clock.
- Napoleon Solo: Oh, well I can share this one to you, then. In the first place, it's different than the one you have at home. It's a girl moon - and her eyes are open very wide and her mouth is open in the shape of a O, as though she's just been kissed.
- Wanda: Mmm, lucky moon.
- Madame Raine De Sala: Do you think because she is a model, you may just come in and just, just...
- Napoleon Solo: Scouts honor, "just, just" is the last thing in my mind.
- Madame Raine De Sala: He is the enemy.
- Lorelei Lancer: In what way?
- Madame Raine De Sala: Because we are women! How can I explain to you a whole history of the world which we did not create. They put it together. They did. Why do you think I engage myself in a making and selling of dresses? Do you perhaps believe it is all which I am capable? Do you think I wish nothing else in life? I *want*, I want that which belongs to me, no less - than to a man. It is power. A power that is almost within my grasp. No, it is not fantasy. It is not madness. In a world controlled by men, I have found a way to control the controllers.
- Alexander Waverly: Mr. Kuryakin is spending all together too much money on cats. Our finance people are getting restless.
- Napoleon Solo: Did you know that the nervous system of the cat is the closest thing to the nervous system of the human? Did you know that?
- Do Do: Do you like cats, Mr. Solo?
- Napoleon Solo: Well, a friend of mine has recently become a cat fancier. I guess a little bit may have rubbed off on me.
- Do Do: Oh, sugar, sugar, sugar...
- Madame Raine De Sala: There is no change. There is no change!
- Prof. Alexander Gritsky: What do you think we are? Science fiction? We are like those hormone creams you advertise in the magazines? Smear on, smear off, and underneath is a new face?
- Madame Raine De Sala: I thought it would be finished.
- Prof. Alexander Gritsky: It is begun!
- Wanda: [calling] And how shines the moon on England's fair land?
- Napoleon Solo: Sorry to disenchant you, my dear, it shines not at all.
- Wanda: Napoleon, I'm counting the days till our moon shines.
- Do Do: Not that I drink much, Mr. Solo. I mean, you know, I wouldn't want you to get the impression that I was the kind of girl who drinks a lot.
- Napoleon Solo: Perish the thought.
- Napoleon Solo: I'm not what you think I am.
- Joanna Sweet: Well, I am enough of a lady so that I wouldn't know how to think what I think you are!
- Jordin: Most insurance men sell you something to settle the damages *after* something happens. My specialty is prevention.
- Napoleon Solo: Who carries your papers?
- Jordin: Oh, it goes this way and that. Sometimes I carry my own paper and - sometimes I get somebody to underwrite me.
- Napoleon Solo: THRUSH, for example?
- Jordin: Ah, the world is full of birds.
- Jordin: That's very unusual. 73% of all accidents happen in the home. Very rarely do you find somebody who dies in a wine vat.
- Joanna Sweet: Well, if you're goin' to be lookin' at me in my nightgown, well, you should be red faced!
- Alexander Waverly: Yes, apologies, apologies. But, when one has good manners, there's no need to apologize.
- Prof. Alexander Gritsky: I do not kill anyone for anybody. I am a scientist. I do what is the right thing to do!
- Jordin: Be careful, Professor. With a small additional effort, it should be possible to replace you with a computer.
- Sir Norman Swickert: Great causes, require great risks. When you're in doubt, press on, my friend. Press on. Excelsior. There is no one to help us but ourselves.
- Joanna Sweet: Where would he find the wanting to live in that case?
- Napoleon Solo: Man's fate, my dear. You must take the bitter with the sweet.