Ian Bannen credited as playing...
James B. Elcott
- James B. Elcott: [His bank has been trying to contact her regarding an inheritance] I've written you 9 times in the last 2 months... You're certain you never received any of my letters?
- Penelope: Ah, I know what happened... You see, I never open my mail.
- James B. Elcott: Oh. Who does it for you?
- Penelope: Nobody.
- James B. Elcott: What happens to it?
- Penelope: Well, usually I stick it away in a drawer someplace, and then I always forget it. Or, it gets lost.
- James B. Elcott: Don't you lose a lot of friends that way?
- Penelope: Oh, no. Just the opposite! You see, if you write me a letter, and I answer it, then you have to answer mine. Then I answer your second letter, and you have to write me a third in answer to my second, and then I have to write you a third, and you have to send me a fourth. And pretty soon we're so busy writing letters to each other, we haven't got time to be friends. Isn't that true?
- James B. Elcott: Your shoes? Where are your shoes, darling?
- Penelope: Oh, wouldn't you know it? I left them in the taxi.
- James B. Elcott: Last week, it was in the elevator.
- James B. Elcott: You've got a lot of boyfriends, haven't you?
- Penelope: Hmm. You're my first banker.
- James B. Elcott: Why all this shopping around?
- Penelope: Well, if you don't try everything- how are you gonna find out what you really like?
- James B. Elcott: Out of the mouths of babes.
- [kiss]
- Penelope: Again.
- Penelope: And now I'd like to get up, please.
- James B. Elcott: Pardon?
- Penelope: You're kneeling on my hair.
- James B. Elcott: Oh, Gregory, you should have known me in the days before you knew me. I was vague, frivolous. You might even say a bit of a ding.
- James B. Elcott: He's not doing a very good job of helping you by humoring these fantasies of yours.
- James B. Elcott: Last night at three in the morning you were in bed - next to me.
- Penelope: Well, what's wrong with that? We're married.
- Taxi Driver: I know. Follow that cab.
- James B. Elcott: No, no, I'm looking for a girl.
- Taxi Driver: Who ain't?
- James B. Elcott: And she'd have just come out of the bank.
- Taxi Driver: With a real nice wiggle?
- James B. Elcott: Yes, yes.
- James B. Elcott: Would you mind doing me a favor?
- Mildred: Oh, anything, anything.
- James B. Elcott: Try kissing somebody else for a change, huh?
- Mildred: Well, honestly, I do, but I just don't enjoy it as much.
- James B. Elcott: That face. However, for a moment, you looked just like my wife.
- Taxi Driver: And I thought mine was a dog.
- James B. Elcott: A double scotch.
- Party Bartender: Soda or over the rocks?
- James B. Elcott: Over another double scotch.
- Mildred: Ooh, yummy, I'll drink to that.