- James J. Jamison III: [Discussing Jamison Jammies] We have a new item coming out this year. But I gotta tell you, it's so sheer, you don't know where the jammies stop and the girl starts.
- Bartender: [Salacious chuckling, then a straight face] Forget it. I got six kids already, more I don't need, right?
- James J. Jamison III: Right. How about something in flannel?
- Scott Heyward: You know something, Pa? I would have traded everything you've ever given me for one thing - for trust in me.
- Duster Heyward: Well, what are you talkin', son? I've always trusted ya. I was just tryin' to make things easy is all.
- Scott Heyward: That's just it, Pa. I don't want things easy. I want to be able to make my own mistakes and work 'em out.
- Duster Heyward: Now you tell me you're gonna go out in this boat tomorrow win, lose or draw. If this thing hangs together that you've gone ahead and proved somethin'?
- Scott Heyward: That's right!
- Duster Heyward: Then let me tell you, boy, whether you do or whether you don't, I want you to know that I'm as proud of you as any father who's ever set foot on this here God's green earth.
- Scott Heyward: [he is driving fast down the road in his sports-car, Dianne is sitting next to him] Dianne, I have a confession to make.
- Dianne Carter: About what?
- Scott Heyward: [he has been pretending to be poor Tom Wilson, when he is really Scott Heyward, a multi-millionaire] About my family.
- Dianne Carter: But I'm marrying you, not your family.
- Scott Heyward: [points to a large oil field] You see that oil field over there? I was given one 10 times that size on my 21st birthday.
- Dianne Carter: [disbelieving] Ten times? Oh.
- Scott Heyward: [pointing to the ocean] You see that yacht? I was given one just like it on my last birthday.
- Dianne Carter: Do you know what I think? I think driving Scott's car is giving you delusions.
- Scott Heyward: That's what I'm trying to tell you.
- Dianne Carter: What?
- Scott Heyward: That's who I am.
- Dianne Carter: Who?
- Scott Heyward: *I'm* Scott Heyward.
- Dianne Carter: [facetiously] Oh, and I'm *Hortense Fiegledopper*.
- Scott Heyward: [shows her his driver's license] Listen, will you please be serious? Look. See for yourself.
- Dianne Carter: [realizes he really IS Scott Heyward, the multi-millionaire; she swoons.] Oh.
- Scott Heyward: Hey, Dianne? Dianne, you all right?
- James J. Jamison III: Hey, you know something? You really have lousy timing. Of course, born losers usually do.
- Scott Heyward: Now look, if you're talking about the race...
- James J. Jamison III: I'm talking about you sticking your nose in where it doesn't concern you. I hope you know how to take care of yourself. I call... karate!
- Scott Heyward: Oh, shut up!
- [Scott belts James with a Kid Galahad K.O. punch that knocks him over the sofa and out cold]
- Scott Heyward: Will you check by the desk and see if that package arrived yet?
- Tom Wilson: First thing. If it's here I'll send it to you toot sweet. That's French for pronto.
- Duster Heyward: Now, listen son, maybe you'd be good enough to tell me just why you took off from here like a big, tall, scared jack rabbit in short grass?
- Scott Heyward: [on his car phone] Ellie? How'd you find me?
- Ellie: Well, I've only been trying every mobile operator south of the Mason-Dixon line.
- Duster Heyward: Don't you understand Scott? That's what money's for, to buy all them little goodies you need to make you happy.
- 'Tom Wilson': [singing] I'm on the right track for lots of kissin', So that old greenback, I won't be missin', All the greatest things in life are free...
- Tom Wilson: If you're down Miami Beach way, why don't you fall by the Shores Hotel, look me up in the ski shop. I'm gonna be the new instructor. Ought to be a ball. A lotta chicks. Boat races comin' up.
- 'Scott Heyward': Now, let me see about gettin' out of this here contraption, shall we? Not an easy maneuver, I should imagine. Pretty tough drivin' this buggy, you know, with these spurs on, but I'd feel plum naked without 'em.
- Tom Wilson: I'm double-dating with a fellow millionaire, name of Jamison. Maybe you know him. He's in jammies.
- Scott Heyward: He's in what?
- Tom Wilson: Jammies! Well, you know, those little things that girls wear that are supposed to be nightgowns. He's in 'em!
- Scott Heyward: He wears 'em?
- Tom Wilson: No, he only makes 'em.
- Scott Heyward: The jammies?
- Tom Wilson: Eh, yeah.
- 'Scott Heyward': Come on, JJ, let's bust outta this here corral and stampede us some excitement!
- James J. Jamison III: [to Gloria] You ready to go?
- Gloria: Ready, willing and - able.
- James J. Jamison III: You could start a whole new fad.
- Dianne Carter: What?
- James J. Jamison III: Topless water-skiing.
- 'Tom Wilson': They tell me if you look deep enough into a fire, you can sometimes see into the future.
- Dianne Carter: Well, what do you see?
- 'Tom Wilson': [singing] I can see you now, Living like a Queen...
- 'Tom Wilson': Are you all right?
- Dianne Carter: No. Turn around.
- 'Tom Wilson': What's the matter?
- Dianne Carter: I lost my top!
- 'Tom Wilson': Oh, good timing. Jamison's swimming over here.
- Scott Heyward: [singing] When everyone thought the world was flat, Columbus said "It's round", He went down in history, And America was found...
- 'Tom Wilson': Alright everybody, get 'em while they're hot. Lobsters, clams, chicken, shrimp.
- 'Scott Heyward': And bikinis, too.
- 'Tom Wilson': [singing] Clambake, Gonna have a clambake, Clambake, Gonna have a clambake, Mamma's little baby loves clambake, clambake...
- Sam: I ran into that friend of yours at the hotel. He told me you were waiting for that package.
- 'Tom Wilson': Oh, thanks.
- Sam: He would have brought it over himself but he kind of had his hands full. I think one was a Sally and the other was a Ginger.
- Tom Wilson: Sam Burton says that Goop stuff is gonna be the hottest thing to hit the boat business since bikinis.
- Dianne Carter: These are lovely rooms, James. Very exotic.
- James J. Jamison III: Well, they should be. They call it the Sultan's Suite and I take it every year.
- Dianne Carter: Where do you keep your harem?
- Scott Heyward: I don't want things easy! I wanna be able to make mistakes and work' em out - before you push the panic button, like at the plant.
- Duster Heyward: Well now, I'm gettin' a little sick and tired of all this calf-bawlin' about panic button and trustin' and stuff like that there.
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
