- Blofeld: ...You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule carrying his air conditioner. Let's see who he is.
- [the guards remove 007's helmet]
- Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.
- James Bond: Yes, this is my second life.
- Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.
- James Bond: [DELETED LINE] Well, they say twice is the only way to live.
- Blofeld: The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.
- James Bond: Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?
- Blofeld: Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.
- Tiger Tanaka: My friend, now you take your first civilized bath.
- James Bond: Really?
- [Bond is surrounded by four young Japanese women wearing only white bras and panties]
- James Bond: Oh, I like the plumbing.
- Tiger Tanaka: Place yourself entirely in their hands, my dear Bond-san. Rule number one: is never do anything yourself - when someone else can do it for you.
- James Bond: And number two?
- Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.
- James Bond: I just might retire to here.
- Mr. Osato: You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.
- Helga Brandt: Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest.
- [Bond eyes Helga's breasts]
- James Bond: Really?
- [Bond has just sent Blofeld's henchman into the water. The piranhas immediately attack him]
- James Bond: Bon appetit!
- [James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]
- James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
- Ling: You think we better, huh?
- James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.
- Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.
- [Being bathed by Tanaka's women]
- Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.
- James Bond: Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."
- [Choosing a masseuse]
- James Bond: Well, I'll just settle for this little old lady here.
- Tiger Tanaka: Good choice, she's very sexyful.
- Tiger Tanaka: I must say I am disappointed with the ease with which I could pull you in. The one thing my honourable mother taught me long ago was never to get into a car with a strange girl. But you, I'm afraid, will get into anything. With any girl.
- M: [buzzing intercom] Miss Moneypenny, give 007 the password we've agreed with Japanese S.I.S.
- MoneyPenny: Yes sir.
- [to Bond]
- MoneyPenny: We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget.
- James Bond: Yes?
- MoneyPenny: "I, love, you". Repeat it please, to make sure you get it
- James Bond: Don't worry, I get it.
- James Bond: Do you have any commandos here?
- Tiger Tanaka: I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top-secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja training school.
- Helga Brandt: [Bond is captured by Helga Brandt] I've got you now.
- James Bond: Well, enjoy yourself.
- [Brandt slaps him]
- Blofeld: [shows the x-ray of the PPK to Osato & Brandt] Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.
- Mr. Osato: But Bond is dead!
- Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers!
- Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive. Unless you killed him, Mr. Osato. Don't tell me you let him go.
- Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him.
- Blofeld: And did she?
- Mr. Osato: She failed.
- Helga Brandt: [to Osato] *You* should have killed him yourself. You had plenty of opportunities...
- Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure.
- Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see I...
- Blofeld: Go!
- [Osato crosses the bridge over the water where the piranhas are waiting]
- Blofeld: [addressing Helga] Well.
- [Helga starts across. Blofeld hits a pedal that causes the bridge bottom to drop out, sending Helga into the piranha-filled water. The lethal fish immediately converge on her and she is dead in seconds. Osato looks on in horror]
- Blofeld: [addressing Osato] Kill Bond! Now!
- Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes.
- Blofeld: You will see that my piranha fish get very hungry. They can strip a man to the bone in 30 seconds. I have decided to ask for a little money in advance. I want the sum of 100 million dollars in gold bullion deposited in our account in Buenos Aires.
- Blofeld's Financier: Our agreement states quite clearly that no money should be paid until war has broken out between Russia and the United States.
- Financier #2: This is extortion!
- Blofeld: [shows his SPECTRE ring] Extortion is my business. Go and think it over, gentlemen. I'm busy.
- Henderson: [Hands Bond a martini] Oh, that's stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?
- James Bond: Perfect. Cheers.
- Henderson: Cheers.
- James Bond: Russian vodka. Well done.
- Henderson: Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy - amongst certain other things.
- Tiger Tanaka: You like Japanese sake, Mr. Bond? Or, would you prefer a vodka martini?
- James Bond: Oh, no. I like sake. Especially when it's served at the correct temperature: 98.4 degrees fahrenheit like this is.
- Tiger Tanaka: For a European, you are exceptionally cultivated.
- Foreign Secretary: As a matter of fact, our man in Hong Kong is working on it now.
- [cuts to next scene in Hong Kong, Bond is in bed with a Chinese woman]
- Tiger Tanaka: Chasing girls will be the end of you, Bond-san. I have told you that before.
- Aki: He didn't chase her! He did it so that I could get away. He wouldn't touch that horrible girl. You wouldn't, would you?
- James Bond: Oh, heaven forbid.
- Tiger Tanaka: ...You are James Bond, aren't you? I am so very pleased to meet you Bond-san. I really am. Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.
- James Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?
- Tiger Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.
- James Bond: Well, I'm glad we got *that* out of the way.
- [last lines]
- Submarine Captain: Dinghy's on board, sir.
- M: [referring to Bond in the dinghy] Tell him to come below and report.
- MoneyPenny: It'll be a pleasure, sir.
- Hong Kong Policeman #1: [finding Bond 'dead' in girl's bed] We're too late.
- Hong Kong Policeman #2: Well, at least he died on the job.
- Hong Kong Policeman #1: He'd have wanted it this way.
- MoneyPenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl?
- James Bond: Which girl?
- MoneyPenny: The Chinese one we fixed you up with.
- James Bond: Oh, another five minutes, I'd have found out.
- MoneyPenny: She'll never know what she missed.
- Tiger Tanaka: [Three young Japanese women giving Bond a bath] Your English girls would never perform this simple service.
- James Bond: I think I know one or two who might get around to it.
- Tiger Tanaka: Miss Moneypenny, perhaps?
- James Bond: [while lying in his body bag] Request permission to come aboard, Sir.
- Submarine Captain: Permission granted.
- James Bond: Thank you!
- [stands up]
- [Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese]
- James Bond: Why don't you just dye the parts that show?
- Blofeld: As you can see, I am about to inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours after America and Russia have annihilated each other. We shall see a new power dominating the world.
- Tiger Tanaka: [after Tiger's helicopter drops an enemy car chasing Bond and Aki into the Pacific ocean] How's that for Japanese efficiency?
- James Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.
- Houston CapCom: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. Repeat: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. There is an unidentified object on our screen, closing fast.
- Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: [Performing an EVA] We see nothing. Can you give me a bearing?
- Houston CapCom: Appears to be coming up fast from astern
- Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Hey, NOW I see it. It's another spacecraft! I repeat: it's ANOTHER SPACECRAFT!
- Houston CapCom: Chris, this is flight. Does it look like a close pass?
- Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: You're breaking up. Say again!
- Houston CapCom: Repeat: Does it look like a close pass?
- Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: [inside spacecraft] Hey Chris what's happening?
- Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Flight, it's coming right at us! The FRONT is OPENING UP! I REPEAT: THE FRONT IS OPENING UP! It's coming right at us...
- Houston CapCom: Chris, Get back in! Get back in!
- James Bond: Hello, Penny.
- MoneyPenny: You better go right in. You're late, as usual - even from your own funeral.
- James Bond: Well, we corpses have absolutely no sense of timing.
- James Bond: I'd like you to examine these as soon as possible. They're from Osato's safe.
- Tiger Tanaka: This is an order for naval stores. 500 kilos of butter. 50 containers of lox. What is lox?
- James Bond: Oh, it's American name for smoked salmon. But, it's also the technical name for liquid oxygen - which makes rocket fuel.
- James Bond: The last time someone gave me a massage, it was in Hong Kong. But, unfortunately, I had to cut it short. We were rudely interrupted by a couple of gunmen. So, we never got 'round to finishing it.
- Tiger Tanaka: I have much curiosity, Bond-san. What is Little Nellie?
- James Bond: Oh, she's a wonderful girl. Very small. Quite fast. Can do anything. Just your type.
- Tiger Tanaka: A toy helicopter?
- Q: No, it's certainly not a toy! You'll see. We've made one or two improvements since you've used her last. I'll give you the drill.
- Tiger Tanaka: This can only be for children! Don't use it, Bond-san; take my helicopter instead.
- Q: [Showing Bond the improvements to little Nellie, his one-man helicopter] Right. Now, pay attention. Two machine guns, fixed.
- James Bond: Synchronized to what?
- Q: A hundred yards; using incendiaries, and high explosives. Two rocket launchers, forward-firing, one on either side.
- James Bond: Fine.
- Q: Now, two heat-seeking air-to-air missiles; sixty miles a minute.
- James Bond: Good.
- Q: Flame guns. Two of them, firing astern.
- James Bond: What range?
- Q: Eighty yards. Two smoke ejectors, next door to them. Aerial mines; now, remember to use them only when directly above target. That's about the lot, I think. You know the rest, don't you?
- James Bond: Yes.
- Tiger Tanaka: If Henderson's theory is right, why would a foreign power want to launch missiles from Japan?
- James Bond: Because if ever they were discovered, they could deny all responsibility. Especially if some private organization's doing the work.
- Tiger Tanaka: Osato?
- James Bond: Perhaps.
- Tiger Tanaka: Mister Osato *is* one of the greatest industrialists in Japan.
- James Bond: No, he's merely a front.
- Tiger Tanaka: Who *is* big enough?
- James Bond: SPECTRE.
- Tiger Tanaka: Could be.
- Aki: [into radio microphone] 2-9-4 here. Tiger. Immediate.
- Tiger Tanaka: Come in, 2-9-4.
- Aki: Zero Zero is with me. We are being chased by gunmen. In black sedan. I'm heading south for Highway 2. Arrange usual reception, please.
- James Bond: [into radio microphone] Tiger, contact M. Tell him to send Little Nellie. Repeat: Little Nellie. Suggest she be accompanied by her father. Most urgent. Understood?
- Tiger Tanaka: Understood.
- Tiger Tanaka: This is our special baby rocket. It's very useful for people who smoke too many cigarettes, like you.
- Tiger Tanaka: [to James Bond, who has just been "captured" with a trap-door and slide which brought him to Tiger's office] Welcome.
- [He laughs without our seeing his face, making us briefly wonder if this is a villain or an ally]
- Tiger Tanaka: Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond. How do you like our country so far?
- Tiger Tanaka: [discussing Osato Chemicals' supertanker, the Ning-Po, which is known to be smuggling rocket fuel] We shadowed the Ning-Po to the outer islands.
- Aki: It was very dark. Hard to see her all the time.
- Tiger Tanaka: But we know she stopped somewhere. Look at these photos.
- [Tiger hands James photos of the Ning-Po]
- Aki: Look at the water line.
- James Bond: [noticing the higher water line of the ship in seperate photos] You're right. Fully laden here, and empty here.
- James Bond: [getting up] I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?
- Tiger Tanaka: Yes. And her father.
- [James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and sweating Q is waiting]
- James Bond: [sarcastically] Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?
- Q: [annoyed] Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, and I'm in no mood for your juvenile quips.
- Helga Brandt: A Dom Perignon '59, Mr. Fisher? Are you really sure you won't change your mind?
- James Bond: [Posing as Mr. Fisher] Well, if *you* insist.
- James Bond: Is this the only room there is?
- Kissy Suzuki: Yes. That is your bed,
- [points to one side of room]
- Kissy Suzuki: I shall sleep over there.
- [points to other side of room]
- James Bond: But we're supposed to be married.
- Kissy Suzuki: Think again, please. You gave false name to priest.
- James Bond: Yes, but we must keep up appearances. We're on our honeymoon.
- Kissy Suzuki: No honeymoon. This is business.
- James Bond: [pushing aside his oyster dinner] Well, I won't need these.