Fabrizio Mioni credited as playing...
Celaya
- Ben Morris: You're not holding us here because you still think I'm a CIA agent?
- Coronel Celaya: Ha-ha-ha! I'm sorry, no. That was an error in judgment. I'm afraid I must apologize.
- Ben Morris: Well, it's about time.
- Coronel Celaya: Ha! To the CIA. It is - it is gratifying to know that they are not yet scraping the bottom of the barrel. Ha-ha-ha! Ha!
- [Celaya leaves, then Morris strolls off alone, and produces a radio]
- Ben Morris: This is Seven Dash Seven, reporting. Are you there, Clyde?
- Clyde: Roger.
- Ben Morris: Operation Pink Jungle is concluded. You can scratch Ortega. The revolution has been postponed. Oh, by the way, there's a - a nut named Ryderbeit flying out of here right now on a chopper. Let him go, will ya? I could've never pulled it off without him.
- Clyde: I'll send a plane.
- Ben Morris: Uh, no. No, don't send a plane. Uh, Colonel Celaya might get suspicious. I may want to use this same cover story another time.
- Ben Morris: I've been in some backward places in my life, but this one takes the prize.
- Customs Agent: Then why are you here?
- Ben Morris: Because they told me in New York this was the world's most primitive jungle.
- Coronel Celaya: Quite true.
- Ben Morris: Look, try to visualize it: the jungle, throbbing, mysterious, sultry, Alison Duguesne posed on a pile of leopard skins, in a blue peignoir, and - and standing behind her are two savages in breechcloths, holding poison spears.
- Coronel Celaya: But why didn't you do it in New York?
- Ben Morris: Use two phony savages? In a cosmetics ad?
- Coronel Celaya: And what is the purpose of this fantastic venture?
- Ben Morris: To sell lipstick!
- Coronel Celaya: You CIA people uh, amaze me.
- Ben Morris: CIA?
- Coronel Celaya: That's a cover story. This is a - an insult.
- Coronel Celaya: Not quite the bungler you try to appear. Ha-ha! Mr. Morris, I'm becoming rather fond of you.
- Ben Morris: Well, I'm glad. I think. Now do we get our lipsticks back?
- Coronel Celaya: You have my word, as one professional to another, that if at the end of the week I still haven't discovered the *real* purpose of that material, I shall not only give it back, but you may be present when I design my commission, huh?
- Coronel Celaya: Remarkable coincidence, wouldn't you say?
- Ben Morris: What?
- Coronel Celaya: The timing. There hasn't been an helicopter here in two months, and, and this one was unscheduled. But a man who strangely enough can fly a helicopter just happened to be right there in the jungle at that precise moment.
- Ben Morris: First I'm a CIA agent and now I'm a helicopter thief!